Hey everyone. Been behind a bit, I know.

Because of this, Midweek Mashup is getting lengthened to a two-week event, and so is the Thursday Top 5!

This week is what I HATE about Bleach. Next week is what I LIKE about Bleach. Stuff like that.

That being said…

Top 5 Things I Hate About Bleach

5. Everyone Looks Like Ichigo

Seriously. Just look at the poster… they all look pissed off, all with a sharp chin and a black robe… He just adds a gender, makes sure they’re ALL skinny as a rail, makes up a hairstyle and some eyes, and bam. New character.

4. Bargain Bin Powers

Originally, things like Bankai and Flash Step were impossible for rookies. Now, EVERYONE has a Bankai, even the normal, every day shinigami. It just cheapens things, doesn’t it?

3. Its Cast Makes the NFL look Small

This is a normal cover… and it barely features ANY of the characters. Take a look at these pictures.

Hinamori, a moe girl with no real substance, ranked higher than Orihime, a main character. Also, note Kon, the bear in the bottom left panel… he came in FORTIETH in the popularity poll.

Hitsugaya got 8000 votes and came in #1 in that poll… and he got less than ten percent of the 90,000 votes. The least popular got less than 10, meaning the average vote count falls around 1000 votes or so… so, there are about 90 characters! No way, you say?

READ IT AND WEEP.

2. Plot Holes

This doesn’t even get a picture. Here’s a list, for easy reading.

1. If Ichigo’s dad was a Shinigami, why didn’t he save his family in chapter 1?
2. Why haven’t they replaced Aizen, Hinamori, Gin, and Tousen? We have TONS of Shinigami with Bankai that DON’T have a position, like Rukia and Ichigo… and once you’ve got a Bankai, you can be a Captain… it’s in the rules. So, in need of commanding officers in times of war… why haven’t they replaced them yet?!
3. Yammy Ralgo, a villain, comes to Earth to gather info on Ichigo… he then eats 10,000 souls. The news doesn’t care that a PERFECT CIRCLE OF PEOPLE DIED FOR NO APPARENT REASON. Also, it’s actually counter-productive from the later-revealed plan to amass spiritual energy in that same town.
4. Grand Fisher was a legendary hollow who escaped capture for decades… and was killed in one hit from a captain.
5. When people die, they go to soul society… and then if they die THERE, they go to earth… so… why does dying matter that much again?
6. Aging is poor. Rukia claims to have lived 10 of Ichigo’s lifetimes as a soul reaper, but they then show her as a child… so if she’s 160… when did she stop growing up, and WHY and HOW does it work DIFFERENTLY in the other shinigami’s back stories?
7. Also, if Shinigami can live 10 time the length of humans… how does the cycle mentioned in 5 even work?!
   

1. Shoehorning Old Characters

I hate seing a good character die. (not that that matters in Bleach, obviously) What I hate even MORE, however, is the fact that a main character, Orihime, was so poorly written that she had to be deus ex machina’d into randomly having a mystical warp drive in her chest just to make her relevant again.

They also did this with Ishida, who could have just been gone, by forcing him back into the spotlight, only for him to continue to fail. The same is true for Chad, who, to my knowledge, has still yet to win a fight. Even Rukia had to crap out a Bankai from nowhere just so she could fight again.

Take the shoehorn out and cut your own throat with it, Kubo. I hate Bleach. -GG