Hey all, happy Monday.

Let’s get to it with this weeks Movie Monday, a piece of WW II propaganda that would make even the most valiant Nazi switch sides. Not really. But it’s awesome. Kind of.

Now, as always, let me remind you that spoilers are in green, if the poster didn’t  tell you enough already.

Now, the movie is about a group of friends who head to a cabin for a bit during the Easter holiday to relax, drink, fornicate with strangers, yknow, typical zombie brunch heathen behavior.

Now, they find some crazy gold, and Nazi zombies attack them and wreck them royally, complete with terrible 70′s graphics. It’s amazing.

Yeah, maybe we should let that soak on in… Nazi Zombies. Oh yeah. Marinate in that for a minute. I’ll wait.

…

…

See? Wasn’t that nice? Well, a bunch of them get royally ruined, others get machine gunned to death, and no body lives, and the graphics are sub par and wonderous.

Watch it if you’re a zombie person or don’t care about legitimate history.

Glitchy Goblin gives Dead Snow a 6 out of 10.

Also, don’t forget to vote in the Midweek Mashup!

Ah, Zombieland. For the two of you don’t know, I love me some zombies.

That being said, when a friend of mine handed me free tickets to TWO preview showings, I nearly peed myself.

So last week, my lady friend and I journeyed to the nearby metropolis to enjoy the cinematic marvel of a brand new undead story.

Spoilers in green, my little goblinites.

Zombieland isn’t actually a traditional zombie movie. No, more than that, it’s a coming-of-age teen romance that happens to include zombies as a central theme.

The movie has many central themes, my favorite of which is ‘The Rules.’ The main man of the film, referred to as Columbus (nicknamed after the city, his hometown, as are all the other characters), has a simple set of rules that help him to survive. These range from ‘beware of bathrooms,’ to ‘cardio,’ to his newest rule, #32 (if memory serves) which is ‘enjoy the little things.’

Now, as a point of criticism, the newest advertisement run also sports rule #48, ‘hygiene.’ But Columbus only writes down one new rule, and it’s no were close to #48.

As another small point of amazing, Bill Murray is actually in the movie, and is simply amazing. They even get high and pretend they’re the Ghostbusters.

So, as you can see, I loved this movie. It’s straightforward and to the point, even if a tad anti-climactic. See it. Love it. Obey the rules and survive.

Glitchy Goblin gives Zombieland a 9 out of 10

Hey all, with the move, the start of a new semester, and CRAPPY internet for the past couple of weeks, Glitchy Goblin has had more than its fair share of bumps in the road.

HOWEVER, we’re back, and I don’t plan to stop again any time soon. Also, now I’ll be getting by with a little help from my friends, as Jamal Rice will be doing his own sporadic nerd-isms and you can expect a weekly comic to surface soon, more details to come!

Think Brains, goblinites. Later!

Hey guys, I’m back. After a long and terribly trying weekend, I have returned to you.

Even if only three people are reading this.

In light of that fact, I’ve decided to keep things short and sweet from now on.

That in mind…

I love zombie movies. They’re wonderful and everyone should love them. If you are surprised that I typed either of those facts, turn off your computer and leap to your death, because you OBVIOUSLY don’t know who’s blog you’re reading.

That being said, this movie is a wonderful Spanish film shot in the first person*, and it was easily the finest zombie movie I’ve seen in the past three years. It was so good, it immediately inspired an American remake, called Quarantine, which was wonderful right up until the last scene. Spoilers in green.

In Quarantine, they find scientific equipment and a slowed down tape recorder, a couple news articles mentioning a vague cult, and are killed by an old woman that you never get to see, because instead of watching what might KILL THEM, the cameraman instead chooses to look at the GIRL THE ENTIRE TIME.

In REC, they find a maniacal half-scientist half-preacher facility, a lot of information about the first case thanks to a WORKING tape recorder, and are then killed by a terrifying half-woman abomination in the eyes of God that the cameraman can scarcely pull his eyes away from, in terror and wanting to make sure he knew where the thing was, for crying out loud.

If you only see one zombie movie before Zombieland comes out, see REC. You can skip Quarantine, if you want.

*Unlike Cloverfield, the cameraman is a PROFESSIONAL, so the camerawork won’t make you nauseous. Much less shoddy camera here.

Glitchy Goblin gives REC a 10/10 for originality and for actually scaring me.

GG gives Quarantine a 7/10 for knowing a good thing when they saw it, but missing the point and showing the ending in the trailer.

I love me some zombies. I love me some Board Games. I love me some Ice Cream. I love me some fire. So, while I can’t have it all at once, it’s good to know that there are THESE fine games to combine the first two (or maybe three).

5. Send More Brains

Pictured: The only real art on the site. Play it anyway.

On the down side of our first item, much like that creepy coworker you avoid in the halls, it’s not all there. It’s still missing some very basic things, and you even have to print it all off yourself.

However, the bright side of this is that it is FREE, and sports some really smart, really interesting rules. Check it out! You’ll be happy (or maybe frustrated) that you did!

4. All Things Zombie

Pictured: One cool box that sells better to teenage boys... for TWO reasons. Huh.

Ok, so remember that guy from work? Assuming he or she is your opposite sex (or you just swing that way) have you ever considered dating them?

Well, even if you haven’t, the metaphor remains intact. Like them, they turn out a little boring and overpriced. This game, like Left 4 Dead, only has four official maps, and without figures, it gets a little dull, all being tokens and whatnot. Plus, still costs $50.

Not like that guy, however, its rules are so complicated you’d swear you’re playing Earthdawn now and again. However, once they’re learned, it’s really fun! Plus, the maps look really nice.

3. Zombie Town

Pictured: Just as nerdy as any board game, but it segues into good movies, so you can recover some of that lost pride if your crush walks in and looks all shocked.

Zombie Town is really impressive. It allows for powerful team work and is closer to the heart of zombie movies. You work to survive, barricading yourself in and hoarding supplies.

Downside? Well, in the end, it’s all about who has the most stuff at the end. No dramatic ending here, just people cowering in the corner. Yknow, like the REAL zombie Armageddon. So, in the end, the game just sort of fizzles out.
On the plus side, the expansion, Road Rage, allows you to use cars to run down the brain munchers, so that’s nice. Just expect about a $50 price.

2. Zombies!!!

Pictured: A game that is literally never the same twice unintentionally.

Zombies is a huge blast if you’ve got a group of friends, but it has its up and downs.

Firstly, the board is made of cards, so you shuffle the deck and the board expands as the game goes on. This is cool and bad. You can’t really use strategy to move forward, because you dunno where anything is. On the plus, you can just pretend the characters all hate each other and all wandered to the Jesus statue safe zone at the same time.

Also, due to the nature of the game, the game ends in a huge hate-filled flurry with everyone rushing for the helicopter. I guess it’s realistic, in a way, but it lacks defensive strategy and teamwork.

It does have TEN EXPANSIONS, from clowns to prison, from college to a make-your-own-expansion expansion. This means that with creativity, you can make a ton of new and different games. One side expansion is even called Humans!!! and allows players to divide into two teams, zombies and survivors, and fight one another. There’s also a Martians!!! game of the same design, different genre. If you worked hard, you might combine them.

The core set cost me $30, and each expansion costs around $15. Plus extra for additional games, like Medieval. Plus, there’s dog zombies, glow in the dark, chick zombies… awesome.

Play it, cause it’s a blast! Just be sure your friends don’t get all fussy and gripe over the outcome. It HAS happened… several times.

1. Last Night on Earth

Pictured: The next board game I plan to purchase and lick. I wonder how it tastes...?

Ah, finally… remember that guy? imagine now that creepy coworker actually turning out to be a nice girl / guy with a much deeper personality than you realized. Now you feel like a jerk, don’t you?

Ok, metaphor has gone too far, cause this game just makes you feel warm and fuzzy, like a kitten made of cookies. Mmmm chocolate chip fur…

Anywho, the game combines the modular board of Zombies!!! with the personalized characters and deep team-based play I had wanted before. Teams split into heroes and zombies, and the fight is on! It has a ton of expansions, one of which is a CD to set the ‘Horror Movie Mood.’

All of the art is actual pictures, meaning you get some more of that old school zombie movie goodness with every piece of art you encounter. Mix and match, you’ll see a ton of new and interesting outcomes.

Also, the price isn’t rediculous. Buy it and love it. I will.