G l i t c h y G o b l i n !

Well here we are again. We are watching terrible films and trying to find reasons to enjoy such movies. I have tried to watch current cinema spectaculars but it only wants me to put a bullet in my brain. So instead of doing that I will reflect on the bad— films that you have probably forgotten or may not have been born yet to enjoy so study your history.

“Twin Warriors” is the best precursor to “Crouching Tiger” or “Hero”. It features the bad— Jet li taking on the entire Chinese Imperial army. There is some history behind this film. “Hero” is close but “Twin Warriors” is epic. There is no way this film is accurate but it has the best fight scenes. If you enjoy wicked fight scenes than this is for you. Historically speaking this is not the best movie but it will make you blow your load with the over-the-top fights. This is a story when China unifies into one distinct culture and the bloodshed that follows. American douche bags this is like the Civil War.

If you saw Crouching Tiger or Hero, you can appreciate the glorious fights. It is what we came to see after all isn’t it. If you liked those films than “Twin Warriors” is for you. By the way Michelle Yeoh is also in this movie, so that should satisfy all the boys with a (love) for Asian chicks. “Twin Warriors” is the breaking ground for all that Matrix-style flying bull—-. If you would like to expand your mind from that CGI stuff than look up this movie you will hate me for it later. So watch it.

If anybody has seen “The Forbidden Kingdom”, it is also an epic film. The only thing I can/should say about this movie is that Bingbing li is smoking hot. I just wish the movie were about her and not the twats replaying “Wizard of Oz”. The White Witch is so awesome I literally did not pay any attention to the rest of the movie. I wish I could have but now I need to download (…wow. Just… insert offensive line here. o_o -GG).
Damn, I’m sick.

I was supposed to get to Thank You For Smoking but I ran out of time. I will get back to my rant/love for that film at a later date. Thank you to my loyal fans and the Goblin. I love you too.

Thanks to Matt for this week’s rant, albeit a little edited. ^_^; He’s still on some meds from a recent bar… uh… ‘encounter.’ Anywho, see you guys tomorrow, Goblinites! -GG