G l i t c h y G o b l i n !

This movie was everyone’s pinch hitter for summer. And why not? Dicaprio, the director of Dark Knight, HUGE budget, famous book as a source material… every sign points to yes! And yet… I was underwhelmed. Don’t get me wrong, the movie was alright. However, some of the dream physics gets a little wonky, like, and here’s the spoiler alert, kiddies- why didn’t they wake up when the van rolled? Even if their bodies were in a deeper dream inside the next dream level (since going down in the van led them to a hotel in which they dove deeper still) the hotel begins to rotate and should have slung their sleeping bodies to the wall, waking THOSE up.

Also, they make a huge deal about the impossible physics combat, which gets used once, MAYBE twice. Then there’s the totems. You only see one! There’s a shot about her chess piece, and she never even used the dang thing. What a waste of screen time.

Overall, this movie was good, but didn’t live up to the hype for me, especially since most of the dreams were just glorified chase sequences. See it, but expect less than they want you to.

Glitchy Goblin gives Inception an 8/10.

Here, we have the first review by a good friend of mine and long-time lurker, Feralw0lf. This time, He’s striking hard at Nintendo Wii’s newest blockbuster. Here’s his review of Metroid: Other M.

I’ve been a long time fan of the Metroid series. Getting Super Metroid for my birthday is probably one of my fondest memories, and that game remains to this day as my favorite video game of all time. Naturally, I was excited when I learned about Metroid: Other M. The game itself is fairly solid, but it definitely suffers from some flaws.

(Game Play)

The game play in Other M is definitely its’ strongest point. The controls, while initially awkward, are solid and seamless. You control Samus in a 3^rd person perspective that plays very much like a 3d versions of the classic Metroid platformers. By pointing the Wii-mote at the screen you’ll switch to a stationary 1^st person perspective (like Metroid Prime) where you can shoot missiles and do other effects. Flipping between the two modes is fast and easy. The action in the game is very fast paced and exhilarating, and none of the power ups feel gimmicky or shoehorned, unlike certain items in the Prime series (screw attack for example). You also have the ability to dodge attacks by tapping the control pad just prior to being hit, and can recharge missiles and even energy. The ability to dodge, while powerful, is not the be all end all as it can be difficult at times. Recharging your energy is nice, but you have to be at low health to use it and it’s so slow you often won’t be able to pull it off during a boss fight, which keeps the game from feeling easy. Other M also displays a little higher level of difficulty over earlier Metroid titles since the only way to recover energy is to either recharge at low health (which as I said can be difficult) or at a save point because monsters no longer drop energy refills. The level design in the game is pretty good, leading to several interesting environments and many hidden items. The game will point some items to you during play, but many remain very cleverly hidden and are only revealed to you during the Epilogue segment.

Unfortunately the game play does suffer in some areas. The most glaring problem is the forced 1^st person moments where the game wants you to either browse the environment for something to scan, or fight off some monsters. The first can be highly annoying because the object it wants you to scan almost never stands out, leading to a highly frustrating search that many people are calling ‘find the pixel’. The later can be equally annoying due to the difficulty of trying to lock on to things that pass rapidly in and out of your view. These points don’t happen too often, but when they do it’s very aggravating. The second problem is that while none of the power ups feel stupid, some come to late in the game to matter. You don’t gain the classic power bomb until the final boss fight (which you aren’t told about either, you just have to figure it out before you die), meaning it’s only really useable during the very short Epilogue segment. The gravity suit, while it does up your defense, only gets to use its primary effect of gravity/water negation for a very small number of rooms. The final failing aspect of the game play is the overall length of the game. Other M can easily be completed in 8 – 12 hours of play. While the levels are interested and well designed, there are too few of them and they are all fairly small compared to previous games. This leads to little diversity and the shorter length of the game. Like Metroid Fusion, exploring is limited and you are often forced down certain paths.

While the game play suffers from some flaws, I feel the strength of the game and its mechanics easily out-way the negatives. To that affect, I give the Game Play – 4/5 stars.

(Sound and Graphics)

The Sound in the game is good. All of the effects sound right from damage to laser shots to explosions. The voices are clear and easy to understand, and the music (when present) sounds good and is non-obtrusive. Unfortunately the sound track has few memorable pieces. The best tracks are easily the remixes of older songs, and the ending credits track (which is a sweeping orchestral piece that sounds more at home in star fox than it does in Metroid).

The Graphics for Other M are probably some of the best produced for the Wii. All of the game environments are gorgeous, the character models move very well and are excellently rendered, and the special effects are beautiful displays of color and light. The cut scenes are magnificently rendered with great character models, good facial displays, and wonderful backgrounds. The opening movie depicting the ending of Super Metroid is simply fantastic.

The sound, while crisp and clean, is often nothing memorable, but the graphics as a visual spectacle are easily some of the best that has been produced for the Nintendo Wii. To That affect, I give the Sound and Graphics – 4/5 stars.

(Story and Acting)

Metroid has often been known for its lack of story. Other M has attempted to break that mold by delving into Samus’s character and back-story. The overall premise of the story for Other M is solid. Samus is shaken by the events of Super Metroid, and now acting on a distress signal she received, she is exploring a mysterious research ship and encounters her old C.O. from her days as a Galactic Federation Marine. All of these things play together to make what could have been a very good story. Unfortunately the implementation is very poor. The biggest tragedy is Samus’s characterization. In all previous Metroid games she has been presented as a very heroic figure. She is a woman of strength, integrity, and honor. In Other M she is portrayed as subservient, docile, weak, overly emotional, and in some cases downright incompetent. The worst moment is when Samus faces off against Ridley for the seventh time (count em, Metroid Zero mission twice, and then once in Prime 1, 2, and 3, and Super Metroid) and suffers from a bout of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder where she freezes in place, de-spawns her power suit, and whimpers like a child. This would make sense if it was the first time she fought Ridley, since the guy killed her parents, but not when she’s already killed him and robots of him six times before. For the actual story, the plot is rushed at the ending, and a plot line focusing on a betraying Galactic Federation marine is completely forgotten about halfway through the game. The power ups you receive through the game are actually all currently possessed by Samus, but she refuses to use them until Adam authorizes it. This makes sense to a point, since Samus feels guilty and views Adam as a father figure. However it stops making sense when Samus goes trudging through lava, slowly burning to death, just because Adam hasn’t authorized basic life saving protection. Lastly, there is a TON of narration to the game. Samus will take the time to tell you everything about what’s happening, whether you want her to or not. The dialogue between the characters is not particularly well written either. Parallels are often forced down your throat as well. Primary culprit is the hatchling from Metroid 2 and Super Metroid now being called ‘The Baby’, Samus receiving a distress message called ‘the baby’s cry’ and then flying to a research center called ‘The Bottle Ship’. Gee, I wonder what they’re going for there.

Finally, the acting in this game is horrendous. Samus’s voice actress is easily the worst part. While her voice sounds good for the role of Samus, she gives such a deadpan performance that it just doesn’t matter anymore. A few characters managed to give a decent performance, but often you can tell these are unattached people reading from a script, and not the characters you’re watching on the screen.

While I still think the basic premise of the story is good, the overall implementation coupled with the terrible acting and Samus’s awful characterization ruins the entire thing and brings the game down. To that affect, I give the Story and Acting – 1/5 stars.

(Replay Value and Achievements)

Many Metroid games will feature some incentive to play through again, such as multiple endings, hidden endings, speed challenges, or unlockable objects. Other M is no different, although it offers much less. There are no hidden endings in the game, only an Epilogue sequence, and the only thing you gain for beating the game with 100% completion is a hard mode which lets you play through the game without any collectible power ups.

While hard mode is a nice touch, there isn’t a whole here except for simply enjoying the game again. To that affect, I give Replay Value and Achievements – 3/5 stars

(Overall)

Metroid: Other M is a really great game with solid game play and some fun ideas that are sadly brought down by its length and poor story. While the music is nothing to write home about, the graphics are beautiful and manage to make the terribly scripted cut scenes at least entertaining to watch. For Metroid fans and those interested in a really solid platformer, then I recommend this game, but for others I would suggest renting before buying. Metroid: Other M Overall Rating – 3/5 stars.

See You Next Mission.

Even though the music game genre is being flooded with endless titles, I still need them in my life. I consider myself pretty good when it comes to anything with fake instruments, and I constantly think about adequate charting, what a new game’s setlist could be, or what I will have to do to 5-Star every song on every instrument. The addiction hasn’t died in me yet. Since so many games came out toward the end of last year, I could only pick and choose what I bought.

Now, upon scouring the internet I have found that some games I chose to skip over are now $20 or under (like Spirit Tracks *gasp*). Therefore, I got Lego Rock Band.

PROS:

There are the occasional songs that should’ve been done before now. Songs like We Will Rock You, We Are the Champions, Ghostbusters, Two Princes, Final Countdown, and even Kung Fu Fighting are featured here and are the only place to find them on Rock Band.

There’s a ton of unlockable things. Since it’s a Lego game, there are many unlockable pieces for your character and even pieces of furniture you can buy for your Rock Den.

The gems look like Legos! The colorful gems falling down the highway that cross the strike line (music game terms meaning the notes that come down) are now shaped like legos. Kinda like how in The Beatles: Rock Band the gems are saturated colors.

There are bosses to fight, kinda. They’ll just tell you something like, “The harder you rock the more you blow up this building” and that’s what you do. It shows the building blowing up in the background while you play.

Rock Band DLC that the game finds “family-friendly” enough is playable automatically. I have mostly metal and stuff (so those songs weren’t in there), but some of my dlc and some of the Rock Band 1 songs were there to break up the monotony of some of the setlists.

CONS:

The overall song list isn’t that great. Some of these songs you’ll get tired of really fast, sometimes to the point of frustration.

It gets repetitive in the worst places. You’ll see a new song in the new venue you’ve unlocked and will say, “Cool!” Then the next gig will be a one song setlist with a “random” song. Guess what? It’ll probably be the song you JUST PLAYED.

With the characters being made of Legos, it kinda gets rid of the “I’m a cool rockstar” feel. It feels unrealistic… mainly because it is.

A lot of the different options and modes aren’t explained very well. At one point I was unable to progress any further in the “story” until I did… something. I just played every gig that had been unlocked that I hadn’t played yet for about 2 or 3 more hours until finally I could progress.

There’s no Endless Setlist. One of my favorite things about Rock Band 1 and 2 is the gig that makes you play every song in the game in a row. For the first game that particular gig was over 4 hours long, and for the second game it was over 8. This “Endless Setlist” is just 30 random songs, including your DLC, not in order of increasing difficulty. Argh.

This game is worth $20 but just barely. I’m glad I didn’t buy it last year.

Alright, if you guys know me personally, you probably know a few things regarding me and the Scott Pilgrim movie. If not, here you go, a nice, bulleted list.

• It’s based on a FANTASTIC Canadian Manga series, by Bryan Lee O’Malley
• It’s directed by my favorite director, Edgar Wright (Because I think Tarantino got lazy.)
• I am square in its cynical, video game loving, punk rocking, anime watching demographic.
• I got free tickets to a preview showing thanks to Niko over at Nikoscream.com

That being said, I went into this movie with two mindsets. The first was that everything Edgar Wright touches turns to gold, the second being that I’ve been genuinely underwhelmed by most big movies this year, barring Iron Man 2, How to Train Your Dragon, and on a smaller scale, Inception, but I’ll do that one next week.

This movie was the best movie I’ve seen all year. However, unless you really love the comics, love anime/video game inspired fight scenes, really dig oddball movies, or just have a thing for Michael Cera or Edgar Wright, this movie may not be the thing for you.

That being said, give it a go! I really loved this movie, and can give it NO LESS than a 10 out of 10.

I’m finally back to give you another review. Much like the “Fangirl on the Loose” segment, I am very much a fanboy of something. It’s not Nintendo (though I used to be a fanboy), cart racers, or RPGs. It’s Dead or Alive, my favorite fighting game series. I own most of the games, if not the remakes, and that most certainly includes the infamous Dead or Alive Xtreme series.

As with all Team Ninja games, the DOA series is known for its heightened difficulty. I believe the game mechanics of the Dead or Alive Xtreme series to be one of the most complex of all time, almost as complicated as real-live-action-life women themselves. A game about playing volleyball and giving women swimsuits being complicated is a crazy idea, and I love Team Ninja (well, Tomonobu Itagaki) for creating it. Itagaki, the creator of the Dead or Alive series and every game related to it has since left the company, so let’s see how things have changed.

PROS:

Finally, a new DOAX series game has arrived. I need more of this series in my life. Maybe the next iteration will be in 3-D or have motion control. >:D

It’s portable! Finally one can take the experience anywhere. I plan to play it on board a cruise ship. It’s theme appropriate, after all.

There’s a 10th girl! Rio, some reference to some other game, is now playable once you unlock her.

Virtual Pictorial is way easier to unlock. In fact, it seems like most of the game is based around this feature. It doesn’t take 30+ hours to unlock this time around and finally keeps track of which gravure videos you’ve watched and which you haven’t.

No Hilary Duff! Unlike the soundtracks on the first two games, this one is mostly filled with actual Japanese music. The others were terrible pop and reggae-style beach-themed tracks (Reel Big Fish was nice, though). You can still provide your own music by putting mp3s on yourmemory stick.

CONS:

There’s less of everything. You know when you get the ‘Lite’ version of something, there’s less of something and it usually isn’t as good. That’s this game. It’s DOAX Lite, and the only thing added is the aforementioned extra character.

The difficulty has been removed. I guess Itagaki was the only person making the games difficult, because now it isn’t difficult at all. So far no suit has been rejected. Before this game I would’ve said that this would be a good thing, but now I’m not so sure.

The environment textures are terrible. I know I’ve been playing a lot of ridiculously good looking games lately, but this is like Pre-PS2 stuff. The models’ textures are as good as Dead or Alive Xtreme Beach Volleyball (the first game), but the rest of the environment is not.

There’s less control while playing volleyball. Your partner is controlled completely by the right thumbstick on the console versions. The PSP has no right thumbstick, so therefore you can’t control your partner.

There’s less clothing… I know that usually this is a good thing, but in this I mean that there are fewer varieties to choose from. From a female clothing fanatic’s point of view, this is not a good thing. Now you know that about me.

Well, wasn’t that fun? Next week I’ll have a review for you about a little known game called Super Mario Galaxy 2… or something like that.

I grew up on Nickelodeon. Didn’t have Cartoon Network until my teens, and even then, it was still all about the Nick Toons. Now, since then, Nick got infected with a TON of fail programming, lit by short-lived bright spots, like Avatar, Fairly Oddparents (which went to crap after they had a kid. Curse you, Poof!), even My Life as a Teenage Robot and Danny Phantom weren’t bad. However… other than that, unless you were a ten year old girl, I have no idea why anyone would watch.

And I thoroughly believe that’s about to change.

In a little bit, Nick is going to begin airing Dragonball Z Kai, a remastering/retelling of the classic anime franchise. Also, Saban has finally regained control over the Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers, and they’re going to Nick as well. As if that wasn’t enough, they’re working on something new in the Last Airbender universe. So, I don’t know if the people at Nick were high before… but if THIS is their new programming plan, then I can’t WAIT to see more from our favorite orange network.

Congrats, Nickelodeon, and welcome back to my life!

Can you beat my score? I somehow doubt that, Goblinites! It gets me points, so if you’d try, it’ll help me. Challenge me afterward, I’ll accept the dare!

Even if you DON’T wanna give me points, play this game. It’s called Homerun in Berzerk Land, and it’s a great twist on a classic Flash Game Genre, the ‘kitty cannon’ or ‘toss the turtle’ type game. Also, ‘Shopping Cart Hero,’ ‘Nanaca Crash,’ the list goes on and on.

HOWEVER, unlike those games, paying attention is actually helpful, as you can minorly control the projectile’s movement, hit him again for extra distance (which increases XP and cash) as well as making you feel really dang cool.

Also, your basher levels up over time, and has equipment to further customize your play style. Play it, love it, bash its brains in. Later Goblinites.