G l i t c h y G o b l i n !

Alright, y’all. Last week, I posted a midweek mashup and got too swamped to ever give more info. This week’s been busy too, so here we go, one day late.

It only got one vote, so it doesn’t really matter.

Leveling the Battlefield

Now, most people who have seen Trigun and Cowboy Bebop will agree that based on pure ability and skill, Vash is broken, even when compared to Spike. That’s why we have the Deus Ex Machina brand Fanboy Muting Earmuffs! All I do is put these on…

Just a sec, they’ve god some plastic doohickeys…

…

…

Need some scissors, hang on… *rummage rummage* Ah. There. *snip*

Right, so I just put these on, like so… and bam! All the twelve year olds in the WORLD couldn’t sway me now, not even on Ebaum’s World, the Newgrounds forums, or even You’re The Man Now, Dog!

That being said, here are the facts…

• Vash is a pacifist who won’t kill, not to save his own life, anyway.
• Spike is a Bounty hunter, who will kill for a good meal.
• Vash has his magnum, his machine gun, his ‘m4d skillz’ and the angel arm, which, according to the anime rules, won’t hurt people, like Spike, just property.

• Spike has his pistol, his own ‘sk1llzzz’ and the Swordfish, a wondrously fast, devestatingly strong personal ship equipped with a high-energy rifle and a couple rockets, giving him the equipment edge.

That being said…

Setting the Stage

Gunsmoke: a distant planet, considered the untamed frontier by most wayfarers. But, thanks to the Deus Ex Machina brand Warp Gateway Amplification Drive, it is now accessible by scientists, criminals, and most prominently, Bounty Hunters.
Desperate for cash and trying to lay low for a bit, Spike and the Bebop crew have fled the system, in favor of some high bounties out on the rim, on a small desert diamond called Gunsmoke.

The crew began as they always began, with Ed and Ein checking their facts, Jet trying to work the police angle and find some leads, and with Faye seducing wealthy men into treating her well and trying to seem moronic while ‘overhearing’ crucial information. It was here, with some prominently wealthy Sand Steamer travelers, that Faye found the big break.

“Out in the desert outside of January, you say?!” yelled an old woman in a worried huff. The man near her raised an eyebrow. So did Faye, straining her ear. The older gentleman adjusted his glasses, turning to the worried old bag. “Yes, that IS what I said, isn’t it? Must you repeat EVERYTHING I say…? The men were holding the town hostage, laying wrongful claim to their meager spring water. Then that Stampede showed up. That vandal won’t let anyone out of that town.”

The worried woman began fanning herself. “Those unfortunate souls,” she said with the cool calculation of someone who cared more for the spare change lost in the living room sofa.

Faye excused herself to powder her nose, and immediately began ditching the disguise, calling her eye in the sky.

Spike had also begun this hunt like all the others, wandering where the spirits guided him, half-heartedly looking for the price tag on this dump of a planet. Spike was, in fact, so dissatisfied with the idea of hunting a walking natural disaster (as declared by the Bernardelli Insurance Society) that he had instead opted to remain in the (slightly) air-conditioned cockpit of his baby, the Swordfish II.

The Swordfish II sailed over the dunes, clunking and sputtering occasionally, as Spike pondered the day’s events and that night’s meal. His stomach grumbled angrily, also unhappy with the day’s events.

The comm buzzed, alerting Spike to Faye’s communication request. He rolled his eyes in annoyance, sighed, and answered. “Faye. Better not be wasting my time.” Faye glowered. “Would I call if it wasn’t IMPORTANT?!” Spike grinned. “So what is it, then?” Faye sighed. “Scan the desert outside of a town called January. They say that Vash guy was spotted there about an hour ago helping rob some little town. Check it out, would you?” Spike reluctantly accepted. He could use the money. “I’m on it, Faye.”

Spike then began to think, and got a little worried… Double Dollars… how did that equate to Woolongs? He called Jet. “Spike, what’s up? Any luck?” Spike was curt, as usual. “Yeah, I’m working on that. How many Double Dollars are even in a Woolong, Jet?” Jet blinked and crossed his arms. “Huh… hadn’t thought about it. Lemme see…”

But, as usual, Ed was listening in on their conversation. She was also far faster on the draw. “Woolong, woolong! Double? triple? Cut in half? How many many? Ten Woolongs per dollar, two of those in one D.D.! Spike spike, 60 billion Double Dollars is worth 1 trillion, 200 billionWoolongs!”

Spike pushed the throttle as hard as it would go, heading straight for January.

Meanwhile, Vash the Stampede, the $$60,000,000,000 man stood face to face with a few bandits who, like most every small time criminal he faced, had decided that they could claim the bounty on his head and then continue to extort the people of January. Vash knew they had to be stopped, so that the town could be saved… and because the girl he was holding hostage was exceptionally cute!

“You vandals! Let the girl go, and I this devil gunman might still spare your miserable lives!” Vash yelled, summoning his most evil of expressions. The vandals smirked, the three of them heavily armed and ‘ready for anything.’ “Hah! You don’t even have a clue who you’re dealing with! We won’t surrender to the likes of you, Mr. Vash th-” they weren’t allowed to finish.

In a flurry, Vash fired six shots from his magnum, simultaneously unleashing his left arm’s machine gun. The magnum shots unarmed the leader and punctured his leg, sending him to the ground, while the machine gun burst into life, knocking guns from hands and filling the henchmen’s feet with just enough to drop them to the sand. The crowd watched in awe, and then began to cheer.

However, from the Swordfish II, Spike could swear he saw the town’s last hopes of defense get gunned down mercilessly by a pile of Woolongs in a red leather trench coat. Luckily, the crowd was still far enough that he could begin his assault. “Dead or alive, huh?” Spike muttered, grinning as he took aim…

With that, we wait! Vote, readers, and write a reason WHY for an additional vote! But no results until we’ve got at LEAST 10 good votes. Don’t fail me again!