G l i t c h y G o b l i n !

New downloadable content has arrived for Left 4 Dead 2.  This added content is called “The Passing,” and its purpose is to bridge the gap between Left 4 Dead 1’s 4 survivors and Left 4 Dead 2’s 4 survivors.

PROS:

It’s free on PC and MAC. As with all Valve PC DLC (and Mac), it’s free.  As stated in the last review, this is a great reason to own L4D2, as it will be frequently updated with new content.

It has a new mode, Mutation. Mutation is a mode that switches every week.  It basically changes the rules on one of the types of games.  For example, Realism mode was added to Versus for one of the mutations.  There was one called Bleed Out where your character’s health was constantly decreasing and health packs were removed.  Valve has thought of over 20 mutation variants, so owners of the game can come back for a new experience each week.

There are new weapons. They have added a new melee weapon and a new gun (SPOILERS:  the golf club and the M60)/SPOILERS.

There’s a new uncommon common zombie. SPOILERS:  The Fallen Survivor is a zombie with lots of health that drops items when you kill it.

There’s even more new things, such as new equipment and caches of many of one item.  For example, you’ll open a chest and there will be 30 pipe bombs inside. :D

CONS:

It’s really short. You can finish The Passing in under an hour.  This is kinda disappointing, as a couple of these new things are only found in this one campaign.

The L4D1 survivors feel “thrown in.” They only say a couple of lines to you and basically lay slight covering fire for the finale.  That’s it.

The past Mutations don’t stick around. Except for Realism Versus, which was voted to be a permanent addition to the game in a recent poll, all of the modes that you missed are gone.  Once a new Mutation comes in, the previous one disappears.

It costs money on the Xbox360. With how little is added, it is very difficult to recommend buying this DLC for the 360.

One of the original L4D1 survivors is dead. Now they’re making us wait until the Left 4 Dead 1 DLC comes out to see how it happened.  This is very sad.

Basically this is a brief but neat addition to the game unless you have to buy it.  Now we have to wait for the first game’s DLC to get the whole story.

I’m back again for another Tried and True, so let’s get started.  Valve has always been a company that delivers on content, though their releases are few and far between.  They created my favorite game, Half-Life 2, and also spawned the amazingly fun games of today’s review:  the Left 4 Dead series.  Perhaps the only game series to get zombie survival right so far in terms of atmosphere and intensity, Left 4 Dead and Left 4 Dead 2 are endlessly fun multiplayer games that ooze from the brains with content.

This is frantic gameplay at its finest, with moderately fast-style zombies coming at you from all directions.  These FPSs also mix in “special” zombies that are capable of pouncing, grabbing, and even bowling over everyone on your team.  In addition, the end of each multi-mission campaign has a “finale,” a sequence in which everyone defends a location from wave after wave of both normal and special zombies while waiting for a rescue vehicle to arrive.

If you have this on PC, all the dlc is free! Microsoft charges owners of the xbox360 edition to get more campaigns, but not so for Steam users.  Imagine a couple of games where every little bit of time you and your friends can come back and play more levels for free.  Even more than this, there is a level creator in which authors (maybe even you) can create their own levels for others to download and enjoy.  These two games provide hours upon hours of addictive enjoyment which will have you talking to other people about your in-game experiences long after the game has been turned off.

If you have a not-so-up-to-date PC, there’s no need to worry. The first game still looks pretty good at moderately low settings, and the second game probably will still be playable at the lowest settings.  The graphics aren’t really the point.  It’s the ability to have a completely different experience every time even though you’re playing something secretly really repetitive.  This coupled with new additions every once in a while and a community-based level creation system makes everything fresh just when you think all the freshness has run out.

The new dlc for Left 4 Dead 2 has just come out.  It links the two games’ main characters together.  Along with the upcoming dlc for the first Left 4 Dead (yes, they’re still providing content for that as well), new stuff is right around the corner.  Steam, the Valve-created PC (and soon-to-be MAC as well!) software where the games are distributed, has tons of deals and sales.  You can probably get the first game for like $10 or something, and, because of the 4-player aspect, the games have special deals if you buy 4 games at the same time!

This series should not be missed by zombie lovers, FPS lovers, survival lovers, or any combination.  If you don’t like any of those things then you still might like it anyway.  If you can find the first one ridiculously cheap, pick it up and try it out.  Or you can download the demos for both games to get a little taste of the big picture.  Of brains.

• Badges:  16
• Pokédex:  198
• Play Time:  104 hours and 11 minutes

Whew, I’m beat.  Keep in mind that the entirety of this content was local to the game cartridge.  There was no outside trading from a different game (yet), and I didn’t catch anything on the Pokéwalker (yet).  That’s enough for now, as I’ll explain more in the review itself.

PROS:

It’s a remake of Gold/Silver/Crystal (a.k.a. Generation II… G/S/C from now on). The best Generation is better than ever in this remake.  The developers overhauled the graphics in the style of Diamond/Pearl/Platinum (a.k.a. Generation IV), the only other Nintendo DS Pokémon game.  The original was the best because it offered so much content, especially because, in one of the best plot twists ever, there were 16 badges to get instead of 8.  Hallelujah!

There’s so much to do! I said G/S/C had tons of content, but this has even more content, more than even Platinum (the strategy guide for that game is over 600 pages long).  Along with the 16 badges there are stylus-based minigames, two different game corners, a new safari zone, a pal park (like in Diamond/Pearl/Platinum… D/P/Pl from now on), added areas not in the original, added trainers, longer gyms, a trainer house, gym leader rematches, online trading/battle, a battle tower, a Pokéwalker so as you walk around in real live action life your Pokémon gain XP, Nintendo-sponsored Wi-Fi events so you don’t have to make the trip to Gamestop anymore, the Suicune event from Crystal, more legendaries, and more Pokémon overall.

As I said, there as so many ways to get Pokémon! Apart from getting them normally (tall grass, surfing, water, and caves), you can get Pokémon from the safari zone, pal park, game corner prizes, head butting trees, bug-catching contests, breeding, in-game trading, online trading, gifts, catching them on the Pokéwalker, swarms, radio music, and more.  Also, since this is based on G/S/C, time is a crucial part in the game, and some Pokémon only come out at certain times of the day.  Plus, three different times you get to choose a starter!  At the beginning there are the Generation II starters, of course, but after the game you are able to choose from one of the Generation I starters and in a different place one of the Generation III starters!  Yay!  There are perhaps the most available locally in this one than any other.

There are more legendaries than ever! Game Freak wanted to have 99% of all 493 Pokémon available on the DS series alone, so they crammed as many Legendary Pokémon as they possibly could into it.  Along with the obvious Generation II legendaries (Entei, Raikou, Suicune, Ho-Oh, Lugia), there are Articuno, Zapdos, Moltres, Mewtwo, Latias or Latios, Groudon or Kyogre, Rayquaza (if you have both Groudon and Kyogre), and more will be opened eventually through events (like Mew and Celebi).

The Safari Zone is ridiculously improved! They completely remade the idea of the Safari Zone into a completely customizable experience.  Most of the Pokémon in the game can be caught in the Safari Zone if you know what you are doing, and the new idea is to create your very own Safari Zone for your very own little old self.  There are six sections to it, and there are 12 areas to choose from.  You put which areas you want where you want them, and violà.  Then you are eventually given different types of objects to place in the different areas and can put up to 30 objects in each area.  Depending on what objects are put in what areas, rarer and rarer Pokémon come out.  You leave the objects in the area over a period of time and they upgrade into more powerful ones.  From then on those types of objects in that area are forever upgraded even if you remove them and then put them back in later.  It’s hard to explain, and you’ll have to look up the minor details to get the full experience.

CONS:

There are some minor issues, like how some Pokémon need the correct objects laid out in the right area for an upwards of 110 days to get some Pokémon to come out.  A lot of those I have bypassed by simply getting them a different way, however.  Also, the Pokéradar from D/P/Pl was awesome and isn’t in this one.  There are still different swarms, but these seem to repeat Pokémon a lot more than in D/P/Pl.

The Pokéwalker’s like 10 year old technology. It’s cool to get a pedometer that also lets you get experience for your Pokémon while you walk, but the thing itself is kind of old.  However, it does have some sort of nostalgic feeling when using it.  Plus, the little monster inside of it can only go up one level until you reset it by putting it back in the DS.  It’s like after that point your Pokémon isn’t actually getting anything useful out of being in there.

This is still like a 10 year old story. As always, for an RPG Pokémon never seems to have much story.  This one’s twice as long, but the little story events are few and far between in the second half.  Plus, the first 3 or so gyms after getting to the second half are over almost before you know it.

It’s still the same old Pokémon. It’s still the same 2-D battlefield with 2-D sprites and little MIDI sound effects.  This will apparently be finally changed somewhat with the release of Pokémon Black/White (Generation V) later this year… in four months, rather.  I have a huge list in my head of all of the improvements they could do… stuff that would make this game series even better.  I believe the Safari Zone was the first step in doing something right for once.

The “final boss” has Pokémon like 25 levels higher than the previous fight. I thought I was going to beat the final and most powerful trainer before I wrote this review, but no.  It will take many more hours of training to beat him.  Let me structure it for ya:  the 16^th Gym Leader’s Pokémon are about level 60, maybe slightly more.  Immediately, it’s like, “Hey, go fight the final dude!”  I go there and his Pokémon are around LEVEL 85.  OMGWTFBBQ.

If you like Pokémon, get this.  If you never have played one, this is a good place to start.  If you hate the game series, this is more of the same.  Anyway, after 104 hours I still have much to do in this game, so it’s definitely worth the money.  As a parting gift, here’s a nice little fact the game gave me:

Mr. Mime, the Barrier Pokémon:  Its fingertips emit a peculiar force field that hardens air to create an actual wall.  O.O

Vegieza here, and things are going to be a little different this time.  I still have not used or even accessed every feature on my Pokémon SoulSilver after 82 hours, so I feel that at least another week is necessary before I can bring you an accurate review.  Also, it would be too expensive and difficult to play and review 52 games a year (there’s not enough of me to go around; I’m only one man), so in this other type of review I’ll cover a game from the past that I feel should definitely be on your game shelf.  For even more quickness and streamlining these reviews from non-recent games will not get the 5 Pros and 5 Cons treatment.  I will simply tell you why I like it, what kind of gamer you are if you’ll probably like it, and a couple of other things.  Anyway, let’s get to the review!

Music rhythm games came to this world suddenly, and now, a few years later, the market is oversaturated with plastic instrument games.  I already know of at least 4 more games that are coming this year.  Even though this is looking like a tragic decline of the genre, a game still stands out to me as the best of the best among these types of games:  Rock Band 2.  Harmonix’s Rock Band 2 stands out for me because of a few things.

The presentation is really awesome. Rock Band 2 has a certain type of feeling for me when I’m even just scrolling through the menus.  From the background characters during the songs to the actual charts themselves, I know I’m playing Rock Band.

It’s easy for beginners. Guitar Hero’s beginning difficulty curve is off-putting to some.  This game eases you into it and makes you feel like a rock star from the get-go.

The DLC support is a beast. Every single week since the first Rock Band was released Harmonix has added downloadable songs to the archive for anyone to purchase and download.  The game comes with about 80 songs, and I personally have over 230 because I’ve downloaded so much.

It’s one of the best party games ever. The multiplayer is amazing, and most gamers now have at least a few of the instruments needed to play.  I’ve seen this game at many parties, and it’s usually the main focus in the room.  Also, the online is still going after a year and a half.

The only reason I can see to not getting this game is if you don’t like music rhythm games or the fact that Rock Band 3 is probably coming out at the end of this year.  It’s great on both 360 and the PS3, and even with slightly less support on the Wii it is still one of the best selling games on that system anyway.  Rock on!

It was a desperate struggle to bring you this review, but I’m back once more to tell you about No More Heroes 2:  Desperate Struggle.  Yeah, I know that was corny.  It’s time once again to climb up the UAA ranks and become the #1 ranked assassin.  Just as in the first game, it’s full of ridiculous violence and innuendo.  Unfortunately, however, I have more bad things to say than good.

PROS:

There are more bosses. If you loved the first crazy cast of assassins, then you’ll probably like these.  There’s at least 50% more than the first time around.

The mostly boring minigames have been exchanged for mostly awesome, retro, NES-style minigames. This applies to both the job minigames and the gym training minigames.  They’re fun to play at least more times than the minigames in No More Heroes.  They still aren’t endlessly fun, however.

Most of the charm’s still there. Travis is still quirky, and there’s perhaps more raunchiness than ever.

There’s more to do in the apartment. However barely, there are added games that you can play while not out on the town.  There’s a retro top-down shooter in the form of the anime “Bizarro Jerry,” the made-up show in the game.  It has multiple difficulties and characters to choose from.  Also, your cat, Jeane, has become fat and needs exercising.  You get to play minigames to slim it up.

You don’t have to drive around the city anymore. By choosing from a list, you pick where you want to go in the town.  The horribly detailed city and terribly controlled motorcycle (err, Vespa) don’t have to be dealt with.

CONS:

It feels… different. The first game mostly changed up what you did during missions.  There was a side-view bus, a spontaneous shooter minigame, a long hallway, an explosive beach, motorcycle battles, and a “Lost Woods”-type forest.  The boss fights are still varied, but as for the rest; it’s basically the same thing over and over.  The phone conversations on the Wii-mote are gone.  Some things you do during missions don’t even make sense.  This stems from there being no warning to what’s going on or who you’re going to be battling, apart from one or two bosses.  Also, with a control scheme that was already clunky enough, there should never be jumping.  Ever.  Especially not during a boss battle.  Especially not during a boss battle where, if he hits you, you lose some of your money.

Regardless of starting out at Rank #51, there aren’t 50 bosses. It would have probably been one of my favorite games ever, if that had been the case.  Anyways, there are some understandable skips in rank and some stupid ones.  One even contradicts itself.

I only used my starting sword. This disappointed me so much.  By the time I played every minigame and revenge mission, I only had like 200,000whatevers.  Revenge missions only give like 1000whatevers.  Whatever.  By the time I played more things over and over I didn’t even care to use the second sword.  The 300,000whatevers one.  The MkIII doesn’t count.

The ending is incomparable to the first’s. It’s so anti-climactic.  Plus, the cutscene after the final boss reveals a big time gap where we have no idea what happened.

The series is two games long. Oh, I hope they do what I want them to when they port over to the 360 or wherever.  If they combined the games together, it would be magical.  Start the game, rise through the ranks and get to #1, stuff goes down, final boss time, Travis disappears, have some sort of “5 years later” or something come up on the screen and then accidentally the whole second game, too.  There would be barely any updating to get the first caught up to the second.  Then, there would be 25 glorious bosses, with the NES minigames from the second one and the phone convos from the first.  Also, the 360 would make the graphics look halfway decent.

It would be so awesome if the above happened.  Anyway, if you loved the first one and are itchin’ for more killin’, then you might like this.  If the Wii is the only console you have, this is a must buy.  If you have a 360, then let’s cross our fingers.  Next time will be the laboriously studied review of Pokémon HeartGold/SoulSilver, in which I’ll probably have over 100 hours put in.  I’m at like 69 now, I think.

I’ve crawled back from the jungle to bring you this week’s review of Uncharted 2: Among Thieves.  The PS3 exclusive Uncharted series is a step-up in the third-person adventure style that Tomb Raider started.  The first game evolved the genre so much, ripe with great storytelling and phenomenal platforming control, that it’s unfortunate in some ways the sequel takes a step back.

PROS:

It’s still great storytelling. I believe the story is even better this time.  There’s still superb voice acting and great, lovable characters.  Nathan Drake is still hilarious.

It looks stunning. The game was released toward the end of last year, and it is only second best behind the recent God of War III in terms of graphics.  The detail in the environments is staggering to say the least.

The train sequence is epic. Stretching across a couple of chapters, the sequence on the train is probably one of my favorite levels among the plethora of games that I’ve played in my life.  The environment whizzing by and gradually changing just adds to it.

Finally, the final boss is finally fun, finally. It’s no telling how long it has been since I’ve been impressed with a final boss fight.  Most games are either cliché, boring, out-of-place, or non-existent in the department of having a final boss fight.  The fight feels frantic and fast-paced even though you’re basically doing the same thing over and over.

If you liked the first one, you’ll probably want to buy this one as well. It’s worth the money if you like the series.  With the added multiplayer, you’ll play this one more than the first.

CONS:

I died way too much. OK, I put the game on easy so that I could kick back and enjoy the story without the hassle of trying too hard.  Instead I still died constantly from grenades landing perfectly on my shoulder, enemies spawning behind me, snipers one-hit killing me, and the controls throwing me off ledges when I didn’t want to do any such thing.  It really put me in a bad mood for the next couple of days.

In addition to the above, some gunfights were way too long. It was on easy, so there shouldn’t have been more and more enemies constantly streaming in for 10-20 minutes in some places.  This really threw off the flow of the action.

The level design doesn’t flow as well. Both games have excellent level design, but unlike the first game this one had me constantly wondering where to go next.  Sometimes I would have to wait for a hint because I would search the place and still not be able to progress.  I loved how in the first game I would automatically survey my surroundings and say to myself, “Ah, I could climb up over there.”  Not in this one.

The beginning of the game has you stealthin’ about. Why must games include stealth missions?  Even though this one wasn’t too hard, it still wasn’t a very good way to start out a game.  I guess it did make me learn hand-to-hand combat, a feature I barely used in the first game.

The multiplayer isn’t anything to write home about. It’s basically a Gears of War rip-off with the match recording system of Halo 3.  Gears of War plays better and Halo 3 has more options of the recording.  Anyway, it sports basic deathmatch, capture the flag, and other types.  It ranks you up as you do more stuff, as the trend is with today’s multiplayer games.

Anyway, I was hoping for a better experience than what I received, especially when it was IGN’s Game of the Year 2009.  Assassin’s Creed II still wins in my book.  Next week I’ll have a No More Heroes 2: Desperate Struggle review.

I’m back again, and this time with great vengeance.  Epic vengeance.  Glorious vengeance.  Finally, the day has arrived for the epic conclusion in the God of War series, God of War III.  If you haven’t played this series before, read the God of War Collection review and buy that game and then this one.  If you think it’s bad, shut up and continue playing anyway.  If you finish this spectacular conclusion and still don’t like it, go to an exposed corner of a brick wall and shove your face into it over and over.  I couldn’t care less what you think.  For those of us who deserve to live:  Play this game.  Now.  It doesn’t matter what else you’re playing; it can wait.

PROS:

Teh GRAFICKS. The best implementation of computerized video technology so far in the known video game world is in this game.  There are only 4 loading screens:  the one before the opening cinematic, the one you get if you die and have to restart at the last checkpoint (duh, the game wasn’t expecting you to FAIL AT BEING EPIC), one in a hallway toward the end, and one if you load your game.  But you won’t have that one because I expect you to play it through without stopping or blinking.

You kill things. Lots of things.  And if you have been following along in the story then when you kill these people it will be the most satisfying thing ever.

Switch weapons on the fly! L1 + X equals go to the next weapon and continue the brutality you are currently dishing out.

It clears up things that I had a problem with, mythology-wise.  They explain a lot of things that I was previously confused about.  You know that thing you said, “Well, that’s stupid and anticlimactic” about in the first game?  Explained.  The plot also refers back to many things Kratos did or plot points that were created back in the first two games.  It’s a smorgasbord of God of War trivia.

Like the first two in the series, it has lots of documentaries. The main making-of video shows a lot of the 2 and a half process of making the game.  Stan Lee makes an appearance!

CONS:

Some players might not like the ending. If you happen to be a fan of bad storytelling, or hate good things in general, then you will probably not like the ending.  Go find a cliff and throw your mother off of it.  Then, after you watch her death, jump over as well and try to hit her corpse for extra points.  The ending is poetic and makes sense in every sense of the word.

Challenge of Olympus seems easier. The extra mode that has been featured in every game (Challenge of ____) is in this one as well.  I beat 6 of the 7 challenges without too much retrying in about 30 minutes.  There is a Combat Arena, but it is unlocked after you beat all 7.  I don’t know what’s in that (maybe more, harder challenges, lol), but the game’s only been out for 5 days.

On one boss I died a lot. It’s a massive series of checkpoints.  At almost every point I died because I wasn’t quick enough or didn’t know what to do.  It’s ok, because when you go through that section on a second playthrough you’ll get every one of them and it’s amazing.

There’s no spear-a-majig. That awesome lance weapon from the second game.  I wish it was in this one.  Oh, well.

My main only real problem is: At one point I glitched this game so hard that I hard to start back like 2 hours previous in the game.  If Goblin had been watching he would’ve been proud of me.  Always keep more than one save of your game, in case you hit the same glitch I did.  If after a boss’s death cutscene you are at a previous (like 10 minutes ago) area’s portal and then after you go through that portal it takes you to a different area, don’t save.  After the boss’s death you were supposed to be dropped into a hallway.  I can’t find anyone online who has experienced the same glitch.  Without giving any spoilers, it would be the cutscene that triggers after you let go of L2 and R2 at the same time, about 5 or 6 hours in.

Well, the gist is that you should play this on a 1080i HDTV with really loud sound, in the dark and in one sitting.  Then cry out of either happiness or because you’re currently mutilating your face against a brick wall.  In the end, there will only be chaos…

For the first time, this week’s review is of more than one game!  God of War Collection is Sony’s way of getting everyone hyped for today’s (March 16, 2010) release of God of War III.  I’ll have that review completed next week.  God of War Collection is a port of the first two games of the series, originally only on the PS2.  Now they have been re-mastered in High Definition to base all three games on one system.

PROS:

Hopefully this is a trend. Having the first two games on a current system is something that hopefully Sony and other companies start doing more often.  I fully expect Sony to reveal at E3 2010 that a Team ICO Collection of ICO and Shadow of the Colossus will be released shortly before the third game, The Last Guardian.  The convenience of not having to dust off your PS2 is awesome, and that’s all most people have, as most PS3s do not have backwards compatibility.

It has some visual upgrades. It wasn’t recoded to be in true HD, but the scaling does improve both games quite a bit, more so in the second one than the first.  The frame-rate is now at a perfect 60fps (frames per second), and there is none of the screen tearing that was pretty noticeable in both games on the PS2.  The frame-rate actually does make a noticeable difference in the fluidity of the combat.

It’s worth the money. If you love the God of War series, then to have both 1 and 2 re-mastered in HD on a current platform is definitely worth the budget price of $40.  Both games are about 10 hours the first times through, and there are hours of documentary videos for both games.

There are two sets of trophies, a set for each game.  I’m not a trophy whore (achievements ftw), but most of them on both are easy to collect.  This is double the fun for a gamer, especially if the player hasn’t played either game before.

If you are new to these and happen to love them, then you’ll get a lot of re-playability out of these games.  I’ve personally played God of War 6 times and God of War II 4 times now, with a count added to each because of Collection.  It’s only just now starting to get old to me.

CONS:

No Chains of Olympus. If would’ve taken a lot of work to put the PSP’s God of War:  Chains of Olympus onto the PS3, but it would’ve been the cherry on the God of War Collection sundae.

No extra content. There are a lot of documentary videos, but they’re what came with the games originally.

Cutscenes and documentaries are not in HD. In-game cutscenes look pretty muddy, and the documentaries are less than DVD quality or less.  The Collection is meant to be played on a large HDTV, and these videos don’t stand the test of time.

And speaking of standing the test of time: even with its slight upgrade to HD, the first game doesn’t look near as good as it did when you first played it on the PS2. Or if you’re playing it for the first time, it’ll look pretty old.

Widescreen stretches the HUD. For those that know me, one of my worst pet peeves is incorrect aspect ratios.  It bothers me to no end.  The sides of the gameplay’s view are just extended to show more on the screen at once, but the HUD (heads-up display) is instead stretched wider.  All circular things are now ovals, and so on.  It personally gets to me.

There you have it.  If you know what’s good for you, you’ll get this and God of War III, play them all through in one continuous sitting, and then die happy while shouting, “Ares!”

Yo! I’m back this week to brave the ocean city of Rapture again in Bioshock 2.  As with the first game, the sequel is a FPS that plays more like an adventure game than anything else.  The premise is that a man named Andrew Ryan, tired of governments and social norms, built Rapture to create a society where anyone can do what they want.  Gene splicing was heavily researched and all citizens wanted to look and feel better by using Plasmids (magic like lightning, fire, etc.) and gene tonics, which actually alter your genes to make you different.  Anyone who hasn’t played the first one should… now.  Glitchy Goblin himself is actually playing it beside me while I watch it.

PROS:

It’s good to be back. Even though the sequel is made by a different studio, an aspect that had everyone wary about the idea, they managed to capture the feeling of the unique underwater environments of the first game.  There are actual in-the-water underwater sections added to the mix, and with this it allows you to explore sections of Rapture that were out of reach the first time around.  Also, I recommend playing Bioshock 2 as it was meant to be played:  on the hardest difficulty setting.  It isn’t overly difficult, even though you’ll feel underpowered at the beginning, Vita-chambers respawn you infinitely if you die, and you’ll appreciate the strategy it takes a whole lot more.  Believe me.

The maturity is back. The mature story, ripe with controversial topics and vulgarity, makes a return as well.  Some citizens are sadistic (as told through their audio diaries), and some sections still have that horror-esque “you’re not safe here” ambience to them.  You once walk into a room with 3 baby cribs and about 15 televisions hovering above the cribs as play subliminal messages on them.

As with every other sequel I’ve reviewed, there are many improvements.  There are more weapons, plasmids, and enemy types.  Each plasmid now actually “evolves” when you upgrade it.  Like you can start out with Lightning, but eventually you’ll have a Lightning Storm.  This is greatly improved, since in the first game they only got stronger or had a longer duration as you upgraded them.  The new hacking minigame is also much shorter and therefore less annoying.

There is an ending. Bioshock had one of the worst endings I’ve ever seen.  It was basically a screenshot that depended on whether you were good or bad during the game, and it took it to an extreme.  Apparently, if you kill little girls than you would eventually like to rule the entire world through its destruction.  Plus, immediately before that, there was a sucky final boss.  This has none of these, and it makes sense.

It has a pretty entertaining multiplayer. For a sense of the multiplayer, go read my Modern Warfare 2 review.  They basically copied it, except it doesn’t take near as long to complete.  The more XP you get, the more stuff you unlock, and it also has challenges to complete.  Excuse me, I meant “trials”.  It doesn’t feel tacked on, and they try to give it a story.  It makes it a kind of prequel to everything.  The gameplay does not feel like Modern Warfare 2 at all, though.  It feels like Team Fortress 2.

CONS:

There are occasional glitches. Sometimes my hacked security bots would get stuck in midair or something similar.  These are frequent happenings, just minor annoyances.

Sometimes you don’t feel like you’re playing a Big Daddy. This is mostly toward the underpowered beginning, but when Splicers can hit me with a wrench and take out a quarter of my health… I just don’t remember ever being able to melee a Big Daddy four times and kill it, you know?

Your drill has fuel. As a Big Daddy, you have a drill arm.  I don’t ever see other Big Daddies have to refuel, so why should I?

OK, so right now Goblin is trying to tick me off by meleeing everything while spouting puns and making Chewbacca noises.  Back to the review.

It’s shorter than the first game. Bioshock 1 was pretty lengthy for an FPS. This one is not quite as long, but it’s close to the same length.  I actually spent more time playing this one because I explored more and was more careful.

It still has open areas, but it’s more linear in a way. Unlike the first game, once you leave an area you cannot revisit it.  They do warn you of this, however, so don’t worry that it suddenly takes you to another place against your will.  The areas themselves still feel open ended like in the first game.

Well, Goblin has many more cons, but who listens to that guy?  I’ve been Vegieza, and remember:  every word I speak, you already know.

Bah. I listen to me, and I’m all that matters. That being said, Bioshock is awesome, and a big thank you to Vegieza both for letting me play the game and for the sweet review. Sorry it’s late, yall.