G l i t c h y G o b l i n !

I’m back again for another Tried and True, so let’s get started.  Valve has always been a company that delivers on content, though their releases are few and far between.  They created my favorite game, Half-Life 2, and also spawned the amazingly fun games of today’s review:  the Left 4 Dead series.  Perhaps the only game series to get zombie survival right so far in terms of atmosphere and intensity, Left 4 Dead and Left 4 Dead 2 are endlessly fun multiplayer games that ooze from the brains with content.

This is frantic gameplay at its finest, with moderately fast-style zombies coming at you from all directions.  These FPSs also mix in “special” zombies that are capable of pouncing, grabbing, and even bowling over everyone on your team.  In addition, the end of each multi-mission campaign has a “finale,” a sequence in which everyone defends a location from wave after wave of both normal and special zombies while waiting for a rescue vehicle to arrive.

If you have this on PC, all the dlc is free! Microsoft charges owners of the xbox360 edition to get more campaigns, but not so for Steam users.  Imagine a couple of games where every little bit of time you and your friends can come back and play more levels for free.  Even more than this, there is a level creator in which authors (maybe even you) can create their own levels for others to download and enjoy.  These two games provide hours upon hours of addictive enjoyment which will have you talking to other people about your in-game experiences long after the game has been turned off.

If you have a not-so-up-to-date PC, there’s no need to worry. The first game still looks pretty good at moderately low settings, and the second game probably will still be playable at the lowest settings.  The graphics aren’t really the point.  It’s the ability to have a completely different experience every time even though you’re playing something secretly really repetitive.  This coupled with new additions every once in a while and a community-based level creation system makes everything fresh just when you think all the freshness has run out.

The new dlc for Left 4 Dead 2 has just come out.  It links the two games’ main characters together.  Along with the upcoming dlc for the first Left 4 Dead (yes, they’re still providing content for that as well), new stuff is right around the corner.  Steam, the Valve-created PC (and soon-to-be MAC as well!) software where the games are distributed, has tons of deals and sales.  You can probably get the first game for like $10 or something, and, because of the 4-player aspect, the games have special deals if you buy 4 games at the same time!

This series should not be missed by zombie lovers, FPS lovers, survival lovers, or any combination.  If you don’t like any of those things then you still might like it anyway.  If you can find the first one ridiculously cheap, pick it up and try it out.  Or you can download the demos for both games to get a little taste of the big picture.  Of brains.

• Badges:  16
• Pokédex:  198
• Play Time:  104 hours and 11 minutes

Whew, I’m beat.  Keep in mind that the entirety of this content was local to the game cartridge.  There was no outside trading from a different game (yet), and I didn’t catch anything on the Pokéwalker (yet).  That’s enough for now, as I’ll explain more in the review itself.

PROS:

It’s a remake of Gold/Silver/Crystal (a.k.a. Generation II… G/S/C from now on). The best Generation is better than ever in this remake.  The developers overhauled the graphics in the style of Diamond/Pearl/Platinum (a.k.a. Generation IV), the only other Nintendo DS Pokémon game.  The original was the best because it offered so much content, especially because, in one of the best plot twists ever, there were 16 badges to get instead of 8.  Hallelujah!

There’s so much to do! I said G/S/C had tons of content, but this has even more content, more than even Platinum (the strategy guide for that game is over 600 pages long).  Along with the 16 badges there are stylus-based minigames, two different game corners, a new safari zone, a pal park (like in Diamond/Pearl/Platinum… D/P/Pl from now on), added areas not in the original, added trainers, longer gyms, a trainer house, gym leader rematches, online trading/battle, a battle tower, a Pokéwalker so as you walk around in real live action life your Pokémon gain XP, Nintendo-sponsored Wi-Fi events so you don’t have to make the trip to Gamestop anymore, the Suicune event from Crystal, more legendaries, and more Pokémon overall.

As I said, there as so many ways to get Pokémon! Apart from getting them normally (tall grass, surfing, water, and caves), you can get Pokémon from the safari zone, pal park, game corner prizes, head butting trees, bug-catching contests, breeding, in-game trading, online trading, gifts, catching them on the Pokéwalker, swarms, radio music, and more.  Also, since this is based on G/S/C, time is a crucial part in the game, and some Pokémon only come out at certain times of the day.  Plus, three different times you get to choose a starter!  At the beginning there are the Generation II starters, of course, but after the game you are able to choose from one of the Generation I starters and in a different place one of the Generation III starters!  Yay!  There are perhaps the most available locally in this one than any other.

There are more legendaries than ever! Game Freak wanted to have 99% of all 493 Pokémon available on the DS series alone, so they crammed as many Legendary Pokémon as they possibly could into it.  Along with the obvious Generation II legendaries (Entei, Raikou, Suicune, Ho-Oh, Lugia), there are Articuno, Zapdos, Moltres, Mewtwo, Latias or Latios, Groudon or Kyogre, Rayquaza (if you have both Groudon and Kyogre), and more will be opened eventually through events (like Mew and Celebi).

The Safari Zone is ridiculously improved! They completely remade the idea of the Safari Zone into a completely customizable experience.  Most of the Pokémon in the game can be caught in the Safari Zone if you know what you are doing, and the new idea is to create your very own Safari Zone for your very own little old self.  There are six sections to it, and there are 12 areas to choose from.  You put which areas you want where you want them, and violà.  Then you are eventually given different types of objects to place in the different areas and can put up to 30 objects in each area.  Depending on what objects are put in what areas, rarer and rarer Pokémon come out.  You leave the objects in the area over a period of time and they upgrade into more powerful ones.  From then on those types of objects in that area are forever upgraded even if you remove them and then put them back in later.  It’s hard to explain, and you’ll have to look up the minor details to get the full experience.

CONS:

There are some minor issues, like how some Pokémon need the correct objects laid out in the right area for an upwards of 110 days to get some Pokémon to come out.  A lot of those I have bypassed by simply getting them a different way, however.  Also, the Pokéradar from D/P/Pl was awesome and isn’t in this one.  There are still different swarms, but these seem to repeat Pokémon a lot more than in D/P/Pl.

The Pokéwalker’s like 10 year old technology. It’s cool to get a pedometer that also lets you get experience for your Pokémon while you walk, but the thing itself is kind of old.  However, it does have some sort of nostalgic feeling when using it.  Plus, the little monster inside of it can only go up one level until you reset it by putting it back in the DS.  It’s like after that point your Pokémon isn’t actually getting anything useful out of being in there.

This is still like a 10 year old story. As always, for an RPG Pokémon never seems to have much story.  This one’s twice as long, but the little story events are few and far between in the second half.  Plus, the first 3 or so gyms after getting to the second half are over almost before you know it.

It’s still the same old Pokémon. It’s still the same 2-D battlefield with 2-D sprites and little MIDI sound effects.  This will apparently be finally changed somewhat with the release of Pokémon Black/White (Generation V) later this year… in four months, rather.  I have a huge list in my head of all of the improvements they could do… stuff that would make this game series even better.  I believe the Safari Zone was the first step in doing something right for once.

The “final boss” has Pokémon like 25 levels higher than the previous fight. I thought I was going to beat the final and most powerful trainer before I wrote this review, but no.  It will take many more hours of training to beat him.  Let me structure it for ya:  the 16^th Gym Leader’s Pokémon are about level 60, maybe slightly more.  Immediately, it’s like, “Hey, go fight the final dude!”  I go there and his Pokémon are around LEVEL 85.  OMGWTFBBQ.

If you like Pokémon, get this.  If you never have played one, this is a good place to start.  If you hate the game series, this is more of the same.  Anyway, after 104 hours I still have much to do in this game, so it’s definitely worth the money.  As a parting gift, here’s a nice little fact the game gave me:

Mr. Mime, the Barrier Pokémon:  Its fingertips emit a peculiar force field that hardens air to create an actual wall.  O.O

Vegieza here, and things are going to be a little different this time.  I still have not used or even accessed every feature on my Pokémon SoulSilver after 82 hours, so I feel that at least another week is necessary before I can bring you an accurate review.  Also, it would be too expensive and difficult to play and review 52 games a year (there’s not enough of me to go around; I’m only one man), so in this other type of review I’ll cover a game from the past that I feel should definitely be on your game shelf.  For even more quickness and streamlining these reviews from non-recent games will not get the 5 Pros and 5 Cons treatment.  I will simply tell you why I like it, what kind of gamer you are if you’ll probably like it, and a couple of other things.  Anyway, let’s get to the review!

Music rhythm games came to this world suddenly, and now, a few years later, the market is oversaturated with plastic instrument games.  I already know of at least 4 more games that are coming this year.  Even though this is looking like a tragic decline of the genre, a game still stands out to me as the best of the best among these types of games:  Rock Band 2.  Harmonix’s Rock Band 2 stands out for me because of a few things.

The presentation is really awesome. Rock Band 2 has a certain type of feeling for me when I’m even just scrolling through the menus.  From the background characters during the songs to the actual charts themselves, I know I’m playing Rock Band.

It’s easy for beginners. Guitar Hero’s beginning difficulty curve is off-putting to some.  This game eases you into it and makes you feel like a rock star from the get-go.

The DLC support is a beast. Every single week since the first Rock Band was released Harmonix has added downloadable songs to the archive for anyone to purchase and download.  The game comes with about 80 songs, and I personally have over 230 because I’ve downloaded so much.

It’s one of the best party games ever. The multiplayer is amazing, and most gamers now have at least a few of the instruments needed to play.  I’ve seen this game at many parties, and it’s usually the main focus in the room.  Also, the online is still going after a year and a half.

The only reason I can see to not getting this game is if you don’t like music rhythm games or the fact that Rock Band 3 is probably coming out at the end of this year.  It’s great on both 360 and the PS3, and even with slightly less support on the Wii it is still one of the best selling games on that system anyway.  Rock on!

It was a desperate struggle to bring you this review, but I’m back once more to tell you about No More Heroes 2:  Desperate Struggle.  Yeah, I know that was corny.  It’s time once again to climb up the UAA ranks and become the #1 ranked assassin.  Just as in the first game, it’s full of ridiculous violence and innuendo.  Unfortunately, however, I have more bad things to say than good.

PROS:

There are more bosses. If you loved the first crazy cast of assassins, then you’ll probably like these.  There’s at least 50% more than the first time around.

The mostly boring minigames have been exchanged for mostly awesome, retro, NES-style minigames. This applies to both the job minigames and the gym training minigames.  They’re fun to play at least more times than the minigames in No More Heroes.  They still aren’t endlessly fun, however.

Most of the charm’s still there. Travis is still quirky, and there’s perhaps more raunchiness than ever.

There’s more to do in the apartment. However barely, there are added games that you can play while not out on the town.  There’s a retro top-down shooter in the form of the anime “Bizarro Jerry,” the made-up show in the game.  It has multiple difficulties and characters to choose from.  Also, your cat, Jeane, has become fat and needs exercising.  You get to play minigames to slim it up.

You don’t have to drive around the city anymore. By choosing from a list, you pick where you want to go in the town.  The horribly detailed city and terribly controlled motorcycle (err, Vespa) don’t have to be dealt with.

CONS:

It feels… different. The first game mostly changed up what you did during missions.  There was a side-view bus, a spontaneous shooter minigame, a long hallway, an explosive beach, motorcycle battles, and a “Lost Woods”-type forest.  The boss fights are still varied, but as for the rest; it’s basically the same thing over and over.  The phone conversations on the Wii-mote are gone.  Some things you do during missions don’t even make sense.  This stems from there being no warning to what’s going on or who you’re going to be battling, apart from one or two bosses.  Also, with a control scheme that was already clunky enough, there should never be jumping.  Ever.  Especially not during a boss battle.  Especially not during a boss battle where, if he hits you, you lose some of your money.

Regardless of starting out at Rank #51, there aren’t 50 bosses. It would have probably been one of my favorite games ever, if that had been the case.  Anyways, there are some understandable skips in rank and some stupid ones.  One even contradicts itself.

I only used my starting sword. This disappointed me so much.  By the time I played every minigame and revenge mission, I only had like 200,000whatevers.  Revenge missions only give like 1000whatevers.  Whatever.  By the time I played more things over and over I didn’t even care to use the second sword.  The 300,000whatevers one.  The MkIII doesn’t count.

The ending is incomparable to the first’s. It’s so anti-climactic.  Plus, the cutscene after the final boss reveals a big time gap where we have no idea what happened.

The series is two games long. Oh, I hope they do what I want them to when they port over to the 360 or wherever.  If they combined the games together, it would be magical.  Start the game, rise through the ranks and get to #1, stuff goes down, final boss time, Travis disappears, have some sort of “5 years later” or something come up on the screen and then accidentally the whole second game, too.  There would be barely any updating to get the first caught up to the second.  Then, there would be 25 glorious bosses, with the NES minigames from the second one and the phone convos from the first.  Also, the 360 would make the graphics look halfway decent.

It would be so awesome if the above happened.  Anyway, if you loved the first one and are itchin’ for more killin’, then you might like this.  If the Wii is the only console you have, this is a must buy.  If you have a 360, then let’s cross our fingers.  Next time will be the laboriously studied review of Pokémon HeartGold/SoulSilver, in which I’ll probably have over 100 hours put in.  I’m at like 69 now, I think.