Ah, nothing like destroyed buildings of long ago, right, Goblinites? Enjoy.

See you guys tomorrow. -GG

Hey all, happy Monday.

Let’s get to it with this weeks Movie Monday, a piece of WW II propaganda that would make even the most valiant Nazi switch sides. Not really. But it’s awesome. Kind of.

Now, as always, let me remind you that spoilers are in green, if the poster didn’t  tell you enough already.

Now, the movie is about a group of friends who head to a cabin for a bit during the Easter holiday to relax, drink, fornicate with strangers, yknow, typical zombie brunch heathen behavior.

Now, they find some crazy gold, and Nazi zombies attack them and wreck them royally, complete with terrible 70′s graphics. It’s amazing.

Yeah, maybe we should let that soak on in… Nazi Zombies. Oh yeah. Marinate in that for a minute. I’ll wait.

…

…

See? Wasn’t that nice? Well, a bunch of them get royally ruined, others get machine gunned to death, and no body lives, and the graphics are sub par and wonderous.

Watch it if you’re a zombie person or don’t care about legitimate history.

Glitchy Goblin gives Dead Snow a 6 out of 10.

Also, don’t forget to vote in the Midweek Mashup!

Here, Goblinites, we have the first installment of Sunday Matt-inee. My buddy Matt will rant and rave about whatever he finds interesting, just give him a sec to find his niche, you’ll be rewarded by his genius. Take it away, Matt!

Well here is my first attempt at a blog or whatever you call these god-forsaken things.

I am Matt, a nihilistic narcissist. I love film and music but I loathe them with the same strength. I am a student at MTSU and I have been instructed to in inform you about movies and films. I can get bitter but I can be fun, so hold on.
I could not pick a particular title to write about so I will briefly mention a few. First off The Mummy Tomb of the Dragon Emperor is impossible to sit through. We could not get Rachel Weisz to sign on for this and now I know why. Maria Bello, who is awesome, but only when I see most of her flesh plays Rachel Weisz’s character “Evie”. I hate when they switch actor people and pretend that nothing is wrong. How the **** did this happen, oh wait the movie sucks, that’s how. Let’s move on as the caffeine courses through my brain.

Michelle Yeoh (who is the best actress ever) gets somehow suckered into to this film to play a generic Asian chick with a sword. Crouching Tiger wasn’t that great. WTF is next… Jet Li, well I won’t get into this, he did The One with Jason Statham (Death Race sucked by the way) which is an impossible to sit through piece of @#$% as well. Jet is not on my shit list but after suffering through this film you are on the maybe list. Jet Li has done some awesome movies but this is not one. This movie is a great piece of awesome people doing their best to make sure this film does not suck, in which it does. I wish I could go on but sitting through this review is making the whiskey bottle run dry.
Moving on, if you do decide to watch a movie this weekend I would try Vantage Point. This movie has a great idea but does fail to deliver on some points. The movie is only 28 minutes played back and forth, yet each time it is through some one else’s eyes, hence the name.

This was first done with Nick of Time with Johnny Depp (girls please try not to cum when I say that) and the ******* man Christopher Walken (okay I just came writing that) in which the movie was shot in real time. For those who are not nerds this means that every minute in the movie was a real minute in the theater. Brilliant idea but most people don’t have the sophistication to enjoy (or suffer) this type of art. Vantage Point is a political thriller that uses camera angles and witness accounts to try to tell a story from various vantage points, LOL. In short there is an assassination and Dennis (who the fuck cares) Quaid plays the determined officer to solve the mystery. Go to IMDB for more info and quit bugging me. If you like to think and enjoy Tom Clancy novels than Vantage Point is a must see. If you are trying to get laid than I would suggest porn or something with male frontal nudity.

My name is Matt and I like to bring random hate to the things I love most. I hope the Goblin makes me a regular but I understand if he does not. Thanks for your time and (hopefully) I’ll be back next week with another edition of….
Sunday Matt-inee

Next up on the block:
Thank You For Smoking
From Hell
Twin Warriors
And any suggestions?

As it’s been a really long week and every post comes late right now, I’m mass posting my POTD as this simple POTW. Here we go, goblinites.

All wallpaper sized for your enjoyment, goblinites. Have a nice weekend, and We will resume posting SUNDAY with an all-new segment from my first ever weekly columnist!

If you’re interested in writing for Glitchy Goblin, email tips@glitchygoblin.com

Now, I know this is a tad odd for my site, and possibly counteractive to yesterday’s post, but today, I’m going to post the biggest glitch I encountered in the Brutal Legend Demo.

With that, I bring you my first ever Demo Glitch.

Now, I’ve ranted and raved about how good Brutal Legend is, and I love it to death, but I did have a serious disappearing enemy glitch in the middle of the demo.

Spoilers ahead, all in goblin green.

After meeting up with Ophelia, Eddie’s love interest and main female of the game, the two assemble the Deuce and rocket out into the enemy filled beyond, running over as many cultists as you dare to dare.

However, as I approached a block of enemies, they simply blinked out of existence, without so much as a bloop or a pop.

Not all the glitches are spectacular, but I’ll keep em coming. That being said, here’s a more interesting glitch, even if the entire glitch is over and done in the first minute of the five minute long video. Kudos, Emerio.

Now, I’ve only played the demo, and I must say, I was definitely impressed by Brutal Legend! So, to boost up Metal Week as Dethklok and DMC duke it out, I bring you my Top 5 Reasons to Play Brutal Legend, as soon as it comes out.

5. Jack Black

Now, some of his work is a tad lackluster, ala Nacho Libre, but he’s genuinely funny and Tenacious D can really write a catchy tune, even if it is random, unrefined, and absurd, it’s easy to rock out to and 100% relatable, and that makes it even more awesome than it already was.

His voice work as the main character, Eddie Riggs, is spot on, and it’s some of the finest video game voice acting I’ve heard in a long time, carrying realism, humor, and emotion, where most games fall flat on their face before the game even starts. Even Bioshock, which I love, had less believable dialogue than this game, and that’s partially due to Jack Black and his vocal skills.

4. Simplicity

Combat is simple, and wondrous at the same time. One button to do simple attacks, or hold down said button to do a power attack. Magic (fueled by your wondrous guitar) works the same way as well, simple lightning bolts by mashing the button, or hold it down for an explosion. Simple, refined, perfect.

3. Dethklok

Any game brutal enough to have a Dethklok song included instantly gets my vote. Here’s hoping we Metalocalypse fans will get a Merman-themed level to kill while Murmaider plays. 

2. Intrinsic Metal

Everything in this game is metal. From the level design to the characters, to the wardrobe and weapons, the plotline, the power-ups and vehicles, everything is as metal as godly possible. This true-to-metal form will really make for an awesome experience, and it’s all backed up by an all-star metal music track list. Even most levels are based on album covers of famous metal bands.

1. Double Fine

Double Fine has only made one other game: Psychonauts. The game was amazing and wonderful, even though the last few levels made me consider chewing off both my thumbs in anger. 

Even still, Psychonauts is one of my favorite games ever, and that spot is well deserved. 

A lot of them also worked on Grim Fandango, which I haven’t played, but hope to one day. The writing on Psychonauts was brilliant, smart, and hilarious, with a plot I actually cared about. The character design was top notch, and the powers worked! I had a lot of fun playing it, and I know Brutal Legend will boast that same fun.

That’s right. This week, we come to you with an old fashioned, hard fightin’ rock off.

If you don’t know these two bands, head to youtube and watch one episode each. Doesn’t matter which one, and their both only fifteen minutes or so.

Now, the rules are as follows:

Bands compete on opposing stages, rocking as hard as humanly possible. The fans are between the stages, so the front line fan convergence zone is the ultimate mosh pit. Now, both bands have excessively brutal fans, and both bands start off with 1000 fans at the show, due to needlessly limited tickets thanks to a screw-up at the Deus Ex Machina Brand Ticket Queue.

The fans will DEFINITELY start to brawl and kill, dismember, probably even eat one another eventually. DMC and Dethklok are just that metal. Question is, who will have the last fan standing? After one sides fans are cleared out, the band without fans can join the melee. If that band finishes the rest of the fans, then the bands square off head-to-head.

Now, both DMC and Deathklok have a tendancy for accidental overwhelming awesomeness, but whose luck will win the day?

MOST CREATIVE COMMENT VOTE WINS A THIRD VOTE AND RECOGNITION BY GLITCHY GOBLIN.

Well? Get to it!

Yo all, late as usual, but I’m getting better, eh? Cut me some slack and rewind it back.

First up, Gorillaz Feel Good Inc. mashed together with Sandopolis Zone Act 1′s track.

Kudos, murphy341. Also, kudos to him again for the Killers When You Were Young spliced with Lava Reef Act 1.

Know I’m late. Ten minutes from now, Midweek Mashup.

Woohoo! Alright, Goblinites, I am back.

I apparently saved Friday’s post as a draft. Woops. It’s published now. That being said, on the block this week is Punisher: War Zone.

Spoilers in green, sirs and madams.

Punisher: War Zone sports writing far superior to the previous Punisher cinematic endeavor, and War Zone is MUCH less of a family film, with ridiculously graphic violence, swearing, and some of the finest high-end super-action ever.

In the first few minutes, Frank Castle wipes out a huge branch of a mafia family, breaking old people’s necks, decapitating, machine gunning, and generally being awesome.

He eventually shoves a man into a glass smashing machine, creating Jigsaw, his arch-nemesis, shotguns a helpless captive in the face, and hits a free runner in the face with an RPG.

The writing is superb, making Castle feel older, slower, and still stronger than anyone you’d want to tangle with. The feel is amazing, the plot is solid, simple, and a total blast.  See War Zone, if you haven’t already.

Glitchy Goblin gives Punisher: War Zone a 9/10

For those of you who don’t remember Prey, it was a phenomenal Sci Fi FPS about a Native American man named Tommy Tawodi, who wants to take his girlfriend and leave their reservation and make a new life, just the two of them.

Now, at the games opening, two bar jerks are harassing your girl, you can check out a full working juke box, watch some muted TV clips, and play some video games, including a Pac Man knock-off, slots, and poker.

I was playing on Xbox 360, and my friend wanted me to try for the achievement, which was awarded for winning $200 in poker.

You’re supposed to play for ten minutes, get the achievement, and then club some jerks to death, get abducted by aliens, listen to Blue Oyster Cult, yadda yadda…

I played video poker for three hours, and racked up multiple million dollars while my friend got angrier and angrier. We even took pictures, but later in the game, there is a broken machine that always lets you win, making my pictures less believable.

Lame. Until next this week. -GG