Go HERE guys.
That’s right, for a week, you can get Bioshock for PC for $5, and if it gets deleted, it’s FREE to re-download.
If you have a PC and want this game, there’s no reason to skip it now. Get it, because it’s awesome.
Woot, yo Goblinites!
I know, late as usual these days, but NOW the internet is up and running again!
That being said… the Protomen just put out a new album Friday. I fought for tickets, but alas, couldn’t score them for me and my girl. However, I did have my buddy grab the new album for me.
That brings us to this weeks T.O.T., The Protomen. I’m linking to three videos, a sprite video to a song from Act I, and my two current faves from Act II.
That being said, GO TO THEIR ALBUM AND BUY THIS. It’s only $10, you spent more than that on lunch this week!
Now, for the videos. Thanks to KarmaKimmy7 and UntrustworthyRainbow for the posts, you better be at every show from now til the end of time.
Last bit, thanks to the Protomen for rocking my life and giving me my favorite band of all time.
Late start, Goblinites, my bad. School and a sick girlfriend, plus shoddy internet threw me back a step.
That being said, call the fire department, because the flaming is about to commence in my review of The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor.
This movie was terrible. If you want to avoid spoilers, quit here, but YOU AREN’T MISSING ANYTHING BECAUSE IT’S TERRIBLE.
Ok, just a little info… this movie takes place 10-20 years after Mummy Returns, and somehow Rick and Evelyn O’Connell haven’t aged any, even though their kid has gone to college. Now, of course, by ‘gone to college’ I mean ‘discovered the lost tomb of the first emperor of China.’
Now, that’s all fine, but the historical distortion is pretty awful in my opinion. But you know what? It’s my site, you CAME here for my opinion. Stuff it.
That temple wasn’t discovered by some half-brit, but by Chinese farmers, and the tomb DOESN’T look like they portrayed it. Also, no one is currently allowed inside, because they believe it to be booby trapped.
In the Emperor’s back story, the emperor sought immortality (true) united China (true) commisioned the Great Wall of China (true) and buried his enemies beneath it (also true), he then fell in love with a witch (untrue) who turned him to stone (untrue) because she loved his admiral (untrue) more than she loved the Emperor. She also decreed his army would be turned to stone, even though she did this to be with the GENERAL, a member of his army. (All untrue, btw.) Fortunately, the emperor kills the General, hopefully to prevent later plotholes or something.
So, supposedly having finished the wall ages ago, China then finishes uniting itself, elects the second emperor, and carries all the terracotta soldiers to the tomb out of respect for the insane madman who never even got to lead. (Do I have to say this is untrue?)
Jet Li then accidentally resurrects and seeks out Shangri-La, from Tibetan lore (uh…what?) fights some Yeti, loses a gem he needs to proceed and still makes it there, an avalanche goes un-triggered by multiple rocket launcher strikes, but happens thanks to a couple sticks of dynamite.
Now, Rick COULD have destroyed multiple things to stop the emperor, like a golden altar (having hours to do so before the guy shows up) a rope bridge (which would have given them enough time to SMELT the altar and reforge it, only to break it a second time.
Either way, they soon find a pool of immortality (also destroyable, but isn’t) and Shangri La, but they never GO to Shangri La, Jet Li turns into a dragon and flies to the border of China, they resurrect the people beneath the Great Wall (including the General, even though he died AFTER the wall was finished) because for another reason, if the Emperor makes it past the Wall, he will be unstoppable, because he isn’t immortal, yet. But he is, because only one knife can kill him. And they have it, but they fight him with guns a lot instead of using that.
He can also turn into a demon bear thing. He does that twice, but not so much that they can’t stab him with two halves of the broken knife in some random temple thing they didn’t ever explain, from my knowledge, since he was SUPPOSED to be going to Shangri La, then accross the wall, and ended up off track.
In the end, father and son team up and manage to BOTH stab him in the heart with half the knife at the same time, killing him, even though he has magical mastery over metal… but just missed it there. Also, he uses magic like, five times, dragon once, demon twice… and it all feels terrible and made me want to die.
The MWMU is even in all categories, cmon guys, impress me with some originality! -GG
This describes my internet access earlier tonight PERFECTLY.
This is what I am training to take out the Comcast office. Get it in gear, jerk-faces.
Now, I love me some Batman, and this game was good, to a point, but holy snapdragons, Batman, did this game ever have glitches.
The game, while amazing at free-flow combat and stealth for non-stealth gamers like myself, followed the feel of Batman to the letter and left me yelling ‘I am the freakin’ NIGHT!’ all over the place as I stomped the nuts off inmates, crazies and the occasional terrible boss.
Now, you should play it, but go ahead and get a stuffed animal to pound mercilessly every time a boss shows up, because those fights SUCK. Still, play the game. It’s fun. Mostly.
Now, on to the glitches. Spoilers in Joker Hair Green.
There were various places where I would glide and get stuck in a slow motion, never-ending fall motion that I would have to adjust out of to land on the platform, no biggie there.
1. Well, while fighting Killer Croc (ask anyone, worst fight ever) you find yourself on a series of crappy, breakable platforms that Croc can break through easily and end you. Luckily, if you move slowly and quietly, he won’t know where you are… or so they say. I had died a few times and was using the Line Launcher, a zip-line device to coast easily down the halls silently, as it didn’t make any noise or create vibrations. The scanner said I was fine, that I wasn’t even MOVING, when bam, a pre-scripted Croc attack happened, and he popped up INTO my face. Not even a chance to save myself. Tried it again, just to make sure. It was indeed pre-scripted.
2. Next, during the second fight against Scarecrow, you’re supposed to remain hidden, under penalty of instant death, should he spot you. However, as his all-seeing gaze swept towards me, I did an evasion jump and he missed me entirely. However, the game then froze, as I blew got to an area without dropping crates to hide behind. Guess the game freaked out.
3. I killed one henchman, he landed on a display in the mansion, with his back flat on top of the display and his feet still on the floor. His body made a perfect 90 degree angle at the small of his back and detective vision still said he was ‘unconscious.’ Riiiiiight, Batsy.
4. I exited the mansion only to discover a guard strung up by his ankle. Being compassionate, I literally said ‘I can’t leave him strung up like this, it’s disgraceful to the dead.’ I then threw a batarang and cut him down, only for him to fall onto his neck, his body hunched over so he ended up kneeling with his face shoved into his groin. I tried to knock him over, but nothing would move him. I felt terrible.
And while no one else has recorded their glitch vie youtube, I did find one lol worthy glitch here.
Kudos, Shadow540.
Until monday, Goblinites -GG
Now, Old Ben Kenobi is all about the Midi-chlorians in episode 1, but by episode 4, he basically says screw the count, it binds us, penetrates us, you just need to feel it, Luke! I understand desperation, but seriously? Not even telling a kid how it works? Even Han thinks its a religion! Decide, old Ben, is it faith or bacteria that drives your magic?!
I know they’re only droids and all, but seriously… ‘I don’t remember ever owning an R2 droid’? R2 REMEMBERS AND HE HAD HIS MEMORY BANKS WIPED!!! I mean, C3 only helped you CART AMIDALA AWAY, DELIVER TWO KIDS AND TRANSPORT THEM TO SAFETY, no biggie.
It’s been brought to my attention that they made an exception and only wiped 3Po’s memory for some reason. Even still, Obi Wan should remember.
I know ol’ Qui-Gon died and all, but seriously… sending Luke to ‘the jedi who trained you’? Not ‘a Jedi elder’ or ‘an esteemed jedi knight’? Too bad Qui remained Gon, if he had had a shimmery ghost like the other Jedi, I’m sure he’d get ticked off too.
‘He was our last hope.’ Said good old dead Ben Kenobi, to which Yoda responds, ‘No, there is another.’ Did you forget?! You DELIVERED HER. You MET her again, name unchanged… how did it never COME UP?! Heck, she even sent you a message via R2- oh, right, you forgot him too. Jerk.
Ok… so somehow, Luke gets to his late teens, early twenties, and Ben goes from 35-40 to 75??? Ok, lemme do some math here… carry the two… I give up. The new trilogy sucks.
Ok, I’m gunna try and shorten this out, since most people have the attention span of gnats.
Black Cat: Felicia Hardy sports enhanced endurance, acrobatic ability, strength, and a wide range of equipment. Her gear ranges from small grappling devices and earrings to enhance her catlike reflexes. She also has micro-claws and the ability to negatively affect her foe’s luck. She has contacts for seeing ultraviolet light, etc. She can fight Spider-Man. REGULARLY. Yup.
Catwoman: Selina Kyle has very simple equipment, more lavish than her opponent, including a whip as well as a cat-o-nine-tails, claws and natural night vision, as well as the ability to communicate with cats. She fights Batman, so, yeah, there’s that, too. She fights BATMAN REGULARLY. Yeah, that’s a power. Oh, and she has nine lives. But she’s died 7 times. Yup, I’ll give her an extra man. Green mushroom. Whatever, you suck.
THE SETUP:
The Cat’s Eye Jewel; a magnificent oval shaped champagne diamond with a gorgeous imperfection: a black slit that looks exactly like a cat’s pupil. This priceless gem was on loan from the Deus Ex Machina Corperation, who just so happened to have a museum (more like a mew-seum, amiright?) between the marvel and DC universes.
The fight is simple, my friends. Two felines enter, only one leaves. The gem is guarded by lasers and crap, as well as glass and crap, which will hinder their battle. Which cat will win the fight, and which will go home with a wounded paw?
You get TWO VOTES. Vote once via the automated poll, and you GET A SECOND VOTE by posting WHY your choice will win in the comments.
See you Saturday with an update on this fight!!!
here ya go, for monday and tuesday. Later all!
This game is amazing. The vocals have been fine-tuned, the visuals are stunning, and while the song choice is a tad limited, Beatles Rock Band is a magnificent love letter to the greatest rock band of all time.
Play this game, and until then, rock out with the opening and a remix.
LEt it be, Golinites. -GG
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