Here you go. I’m tiered after writing COTW. See you guys tomorrow!

BTW, I fired one of these. NO ONE CAN FIRE A GUN LIKE THIS STANDING AND REMAIN SO.

Hey guys! Here we are, one week after the initial poll opening, and I have to say, at least I have some votes. I am a little sad that no one wrote their opinions as to why their choice won, though. Oh well. Next week is another week.

The crowd cheered, and Vash holstered his gun, scratching the back of his head. Even still, after being hated by so many, praise made the blond-haired gunman a little bashful. For a moment, he imagined the women of the crowd embracing him, envisioned a night of celebratory drinking and new friends.

That vision was short lived, as Spike then locked onto the red coated demon and squeezed the trigger, unleashing the machine guns of the Swordfish II.

The crowd screamed in fright, the bullets sending up a huge storm of sand, blinding both Vash and Spike. However, Vash had the advantage here… hidden in the storm, he could hear the Swordfish’s engine now, so he reloaded his magnum and prepared himself.

Spike knew that no bounty of that size would go down so easily. He knew to keep his aces hidden, to wait for a moment to strike. He would watch his prey now, watch him react. If he learned his foe, it would be easier to best him. But watch as he might, no one exited the cloud, no one but the crowd ran, and as he circled, the cloud began to disperse, revealing an empty desert.

“Hmm… not bad… pretty quick. Question is… did he duck into the crowd…? Or…” Spike circled around again, getting lower to the desert, eyes trained on where his target had stood before. Spike knew no one could have fled that fast… no one. He decided to throw an Ace, hoping to catch a Joker. He fired the plasma cannon.

In a flash, the white-blue plasma ripped through the desert, tearing the dunes asunder. Under the sand, there were old cars, skeletons of long dead Thomases, and then, in a flash, just under the plasma stream, a flash of red.

Vash had taken his chance, and just barely avoided the massive weapon. He hopped to the top of an old car and then leapt onto the Swordfish as it rocketed by. He latched on with his mechanical hand and called to the pilot. “Why hello there! Not much of a day for sightseeing, is it stranger? How about you just head home, okay? I’m kinda busy…” Vash said with a goofy smile.

Spike glowered at the man hanging to the Swordfish II’s wing. Was he for real? Could this freak really be worth that many Woolongs? But Spike would not underestimate this man… after all, this guy had somehow evaded machine gun rounds, hidden under the sand, evaded his plasma cannon, and leapt onto his ship. Still, Spike grinned deviously, eager for a challenge. “Sure, why not? I was just taking my girl for a spin, anyway.”

With that, Spike did a aileron roll. (Yes yes, I know, do a barrel roll! Can’t let you do that, Star Fox. That’s not even a real barrel roll. Look it up.) Vash hung on for dear life, and endured through the spin, now landing atop the cockpit. “Hey now, that’s not very nice~!” said Vash sarcastically, his arm transforming into a machine gun for a second time.

Spike looked up in horror. “YOU IDIOT! DO-” But Vash had pulled the trigger, shooting around the cockpit, trying to pry open the glass casing. Instead, however, he accidentally triggered the escape pod. A rush of gas deafened the two as the pod spiraled off from the craft, crashing into the desert sand. The Swordfish II sailed off into the distance, ridding Spike of a great asset and giving him another: rage.

Vash, afraid for the man’s life, pried open the glass capsule, from which Spike immediately lunged, swinging his legs at Vash in anger. Vash stumbled back, falling to the sand, and looked up, seing the man’s silhouette as he leapt from the capsule, swinging his leg down in a deadly strike.

Vash blocked with his metal arm, and felt many of the parts bend and give way. He then rolled back nimbly, taking the half-second to reload his magnum. Spike drew his pistol.

A flurry of bullets followed, ripping through the red coat and the dark mess of hair, ricocheting off the capsule and filling the sand with holes. Once Vash’s gun was empty, Spike began his assault. Vash dodged the first few blows, but eventually found himself missing the man’s quick footwork, and missed a boot’s heel coming straight for his chin.

Spike grinned as the man called Vash spiraled towards the sand, readying to fire another volley. But Vash was no slouch, and hit the dust with the grace of a ballerina, hitting his ever-weakening left arm, forcing it into a partial transformation. It wouldn’t be accurate, but it was enough. He riddled the sand with shots, sending dust into Spike’s eyes. But Spike knew this tactic. It was meant to stop him, create a moment for escape. So he lunged forward, into the dust, and found… nothing.

Vash stood behind him, and whistled appreciatively. “You’re really fast, Mr. Bounty Hunter! But I am Vash The Stampede, and I’m just that much faster.” Vash said, putting his newly loaded magnum to the back of Spike’s head.

Spike froze, not believing that someone actually got the jump on him. “…so then… guess this is the end… unbelievable…” Vash instead, began to laugh. “You think I’m that type? I hate killing. I’ve never done it, and I never will, either. That’s what a certain woman taught me.”

Spike found himself offended, then relieved, then put it all together. He knew the man’s pain, trying to get by, getting a reputation he scarcely deserved, following a mantra partially because of a girl he cared about. “…She gone?” Vash knew that he understood. This fight was over. “…yeah. Long time ago now.” Vash lowered the gun.

Spike turned and faced the man, and the two spent a second studying one another. They were very different men, living very differently… but today at least, they understood each other. Spike walked past Vash, shoving his hands in his pockets. “… gotta go get my ship. Watch your back, Humanoid Typhoon. If she’s wrecked, I’ll be back fr that bounty. I won’t lose if that day comes, either.”

Vash smiled, heading back towards January, calling back to him, “Stop in January tonight, Bounty Hunter! I’ll buy you a drink!” He said with a wave.

“It’s Spike. See you around, space cowboy.” He shot back with a lazy wave.

“Be seeing you around, Spike! Find that girl of yours… life is short after all, and this world is made of Love and Peace! Enjoy it while you can!”

The two both smiled and walked their separate ways, each heading for terrible pain… and one for death. But those words resounded in Spike’s head long after, and he continued to hope that one day, his world would indeed be made of Love and Peace.

We have our Champion! Congratulations, Vash the Stampede!

Spike got next to NO votes. There was lots of votes for a draw, so I made it close. Plus, I figured that’s what Vash would opt for, anyway. Until next week, Space Cowboys, remember that this world is made of Love and Peace! -GG

Hey! Last day to vote for the Midweek Mashup! Results are here tomorrow!

So, after traveling back in time in my shiny new Red Tardis, I decided to let you guys know about some really cool Who gear, in case you somehow missed this stuff.

This is a big, perfectly purchase-able DVD collection of all the Who you can handle, unless you’re Sam or Thanny, who could handle more. Trust me, you’ll know if you’re Sam or Thanny.

Next up? Want a Sonic Screwdriver? I do.

Even if it IS just a pen and LED light. I would still treasure it always.

Up next? Dalek Cam.

Just be careful you don’t get exterminated. Hopefully, it has a pedo sensor.

Last up? The classic need-to-own computer accessory for the Who fans… the Tardis.

It’s a wonderful USB hub, meaning you can plug your Dalek cam into it. Oh, the irony, a Dalek powered by the Tardis. This site also seems to think it’s a USB powered fridge.

If it is, then holy CRAP that’s a high powered USB. -GG

Hey all, a little preface for today. Today, I woke up from a very odd dream.

In the dream, I was playing Mario 64, and I was being thrown into a level where a giant Bowser Ship floated on an ocean of lava. However, the lava kept sporadically becoming water, in appearance, or effect, or both, and vice versa.

However, once atop the ship, I found many coins, and at the back, a glassed in city street which housed a large grandfather clock and to the right, a telephone booth… upon inspection, it was the Time Machine from Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure.

It grew quiet as I approached the clock, and I punched it. The clock’s hands moved sporadically, and the time machine vanished… and to the LEFT of the machine now stood… the Tardis from Doctor Who.

Amazed, I punched the clock again, and the music stopped instantly as the clock stuck twelve. The world grew dark and it began to storm like a typhoon as the Booth from Bill and Ted re-appeared, and all three combined into a Red Tardis with the antenna from Bill and Ted’s machine on top… I approached the machine, opened the door, and looked into gleaming light…

And I woke up.

I turned on the TV, only to discover that there was a Doctor Who marathon today, from 8 AM to 4 PM. I think it must mean that time is always changing, that my childhood experiences (I loved Bill and Ted as a kid), my teenage hobbies (I loved my 64 then) and my new nerdy experiences (just got into Doctor Who) will combine to take me further… to make me who I need to be.

Time travel is indeed a part of me, me thinks.

Either that, or I need to stop eating canned pastas after midnight and watching so much Supernatural.

That being said, the Doctor is today’s theme. Here you go, goblinites. We’ll start out a little goofy…

Then we’ll get nerdy and cool…

And finish it off with a little Red Tardis ROCK!

Time traveling thanks to joncouplandmarketman, 9INCHNAILZ, and Believethelie2004, respectively. -GG

Hey guys. Being Movie Monday, I thought I’d post this little gem. Enjoy the timelines, Trekkies.

Live long and prosper, Trek fans. -GG

Hey guys, Monday is upon us again! You know what that means…

Now, put simply, this movie is really really cool, but it was meant to be experienced in 3-D, and it feels a tad lacking if viewed otherwise.

That being said, it presents itself in a fresh, new style, using music you’d never hear in a movie now a days. The plot is interesting, the style is unique, and the message in wonderful. All in all, Coraline presents a suprisingly deep plot (and some dark themes and images) to audiences young and old alike.

See the movie. It’s an eerie-themed, oddly comforting movie coated in a kid’s movie candy coating and eventually winds up as a wonderous work of art that we can’t completely comprehend with our meager technology.

Glitchy Goblin gives Coraline an 8/10 for being wonderful and making me regret missing it in theaters.

Ok, behind on potd. Here you go guys.

Ah, one of my favorite glitches… for one of my LEAST favorite games.

Halo 2.

The glitch was a simple figure eight that ended in a MASSIVE argument, but it was one of the coolest matches ever.

Me and some friends were hanging out and playing Halo, 3 on 2, their favor.

Jeremy and I were on a team in Blood Gulch. He happened to grab the sniper rifle, I picked up a rocket launcher. We then got the second sniper for me, just to keep it out of the hands of our opponents.

We then hijacked a Gaus Hog and proceeded to do a figure eight around the two bases, killing all who spawned before they could even hope to resist.

I blame Ian for the weapon choice, they blamed us for being cheap, but either way, at that point, the match was 30 kill to 2, our favor. Had a phone not rung, it would have been a massive near shutout.

However, due to me sucking unbelievably, the phone DID ring, and they came back to whip us good. I suck at Halo.

Hey everyone. Been behind a bit, I know.

Because of this, Midweek Mashup is getting lengthened to a two-week event, and so is the Thursday Top 5!

This week is what I HATE about Bleach. Next week is what I LIKE about Bleach. Stuff like that.

That being said…

Top 5 Things I Hate About Bleach

5. Everyone Looks Like Ichigo

Seriously. Just look at the poster… they all look pissed off, all with a sharp chin and a black robe… He just adds a gender, makes sure they’re ALL skinny as a rail, makes up a hairstyle and some eyes, and bam. New character.

4. Bargain Bin Powers

Originally, things like Bankai and Flash Step were impossible for rookies. Now, EVERYONE has a Bankai, even the normal, every day shinigami. It just cheapens things, doesn’t it?

3. Its Cast Makes the NFL look Small

This is a normal cover… and it barely features ANY of the characters. Take a look at these pictures.

Hinamori, a moe girl with no real substance, ranked higher than Orihime, a main character. Also, note Kon, the bear in the bottom left panel… he came in FORTIETH in the popularity poll.

Hitsugaya got 8000 votes and came in #1 in that poll… and he got less than ten percent of the 90,000 votes. The least popular got less than 10, meaning the average vote count falls around 1000 votes or so… so, there are about 90 characters! No way, you say?

READ IT AND WEEP.

2. Plot Holes

This doesn’t even get a picture. Here’s a list, for easy reading.

1. If Ichigo’s dad was a Shinigami, why didn’t he save his family in chapter 1?
2. Why haven’t they replaced Aizen, Hinamori, Gin, and Tousen? We have TONS of Shinigami with Bankai that DON’T have a position, like Rukia and Ichigo… and once you’ve got a Bankai, you can be a Captain… it’s in the rules. So, in need of commanding officers in times of war… why haven’t they replaced them yet?!
3. Yammy Ralgo, a villain, comes to Earth to gather info on Ichigo… he then eats 10,000 souls. The news doesn’t care that a PERFECT CIRCLE OF PEOPLE DIED FOR NO APPARENT REASON. Also, it’s actually counter-productive from the later-revealed plan to amass spiritual energy in that same town.
4. Grand Fisher was a legendary hollow who escaped capture for decades… and was killed in one hit from a captain.
5. When people die, they go to soul society… and then if they die THERE, they go to earth… so… why does dying matter that much again?
6. Aging is poor. Rukia claims to have lived 10 of Ichigo’s lifetimes as a soul reaper, but they then show her as a child… so if she’s 160… when did she stop growing up, and WHY and HOW does it work DIFFERENTLY in the other shinigami’s back stories?
7. Also, if Shinigami can live 10 time the length of humans… how does the cycle mentioned in 5 even work?!
   

1. Shoehorning Old Characters

I hate seing a good character die. (not that that matters in Bleach, obviously) What I hate even MORE, however, is the fact that a main character, Orihime, was so poorly written that she had to be deus ex machina’d into randomly having a mystical warp drive in her chest just to make her relevant again.

They also did this with Ishida, who could have just been gone, by forcing him back into the spotlight, only for him to continue to fail. The same is true for Chad, who, to my knowledge, has still yet to win a fight. Even Rukia had to crap out a Bankai from nowhere just so she could fight again.

Take the shoehorn out and cut your own throat with it, Kubo. I hate Bleach. -GG

Alright, y’all. Last week, I posted a midweek mashup and got too swamped to ever give more info. This week’s been busy too, so here we go, one day late.

It only got one vote, so it doesn’t really matter.

Leveling the Battlefield

Now, most people who have seen Trigun and Cowboy Bebop will agree that based on pure ability and skill, Vash is broken, even when compared to Spike. That’s why we have the Deus Ex Machina brand Fanboy Muting Earmuffs! All I do is put these on…

Just a sec, they’ve god some plastic doohickeys…

…

…

Need some scissors, hang on… *rummage rummage* Ah. There. *snip*

Right, so I just put these on, like so… and bam! All the twelve year olds in the WORLD couldn’t sway me now, not even on Ebaum’s World, the Newgrounds forums, or even You’re The Man Now, Dog!

That being said, here are the facts…

• Vash is a pacifist who won’t kill, not to save his own life, anyway.
• Spike is a Bounty hunter, who will kill for a good meal.
• Vash has his magnum, his machine gun, his ‘m4d skillz’ and the angel arm, which, according to the anime rules, won’t hurt people, like Spike, just property.

• Spike has his pistol, his own ’sk1llzzz’ and the Swordfish, a wondrously fast, devestatingly strong personal ship equipped with a high-energy rifle and a couple rockets, giving him the equipment edge.

That being said…

Setting the Stage

Gunsmoke: a distant planet, considered the untamed frontier by most wayfarers. But, thanks to the Deus Ex Machina brand Warp Gateway Amplification Drive, it is now accessible by scientists, criminals, and most prominently, Bounty Hunters.
Desperate for cash and trying to lay low for a bit, Spike and the Bebop crew have fled the system, in favor of some high bounties out on the rim, on a small desert diamond called Gunsmoke.

The crew began as they always began, with Ed and Ein checking their facts, Jet trying to work the police angle and find some leads, and with Faye seducing wealthy men into treating her well and trying to seem moronic while ‘overhearing’ crucial information. It was here, with some prominently wealthy Sand Steamer travelers, that Faye found the big break.

“Out in the desert outside of January, you say?!” yelled an old woman in a worried huff. The man near her raised an eyebrow. So did Faye, straining her ear. The older gentleman adjusted his glasses, turning to the worried old bag. “Yes, that IS what I said, isn’t it? Must you repeat EVERYTHING I say…? The men were holding the town hostage, laying wrongful claim to their meager spring water. Then that Stampede showed up. That vandal won’t let anyone out of that town.”

The worried woman began fanning herself. “Those unfortunate souls,” she said with the cool calculation of someone who cared more for the spare change lost in the living room sofa.

Faye excused herself to powder her nose, and immediately began ditching the disguise, calling her eye in the sky.

Spike had also begun this hunt like all the others, wandering where the spirits guided him, half-heartedly looking for the price tag on this dump of a planet. Spike was, in fact, so dissatisfied with the idea of hunting a walking natural disaster (as declared by the Bernardelli Insurance Society) that he had instead opted to remain in the (slightly) air-conditioned cockpit of his baby, the Swordfish II.

The Swordfish II sailed over the dunes, clunking and sputtering occasionally, as Spike pondered the day’s events and that night’s meal. His stomach grumbled angrily, also unhappy with the day’s events.

The comm buzzed, alerting Spike to Faye’s communication request. He rolled his eyes in annoyance, sighed, and answered. “Faye. Better not be wasting my time.” Faye glowered. “Would I call if it wasn’t IMPORTANT?!” Spike grinned. “So what is it, then?” Faye sighed. “Scan the desert outside of a town called January. They say that Vash guy was spotted there about an hour ago helping rob some little town. Check it out, would you?” Spike reluctantly accepted. He could use the money. “I’m on it, Faye.”

Spike then began to think, and got a little worried… Double Dollars… how did that equate to Woolongs? He called Jet. “Spike, what’s up? Any luck?” Spike was curt, as usual. “Yeah, I’m working on that. How many Double Dollars are even in a Woolong, Jet?” Jet blinked and crossed his arms. “Huh… hadn’t thought about it. Lemme see…”

But, as usual, Ed was listening in on their conversation. She was also far faster on the draw. “Woolong, woolong! Double? triple? Cut in half? How many many? Ten Woolongs per dollar, two of those in one D.D.! Spike spike, 60 billion Double Dollars is worth 1 trillion, 200 billionWoolongs!”

Spike pushed the throttle as hard as it would go, heading straight for January.

Meanwhile, Vash the Stampede, the $$60,000,000,000 man stood face to face with a few bandits who, like most every small time criminal he faced, had decided that they could claim the bounty on his head and then continue to extort the people of January. Vash knew they had to be stopped, so that the town could be saved… and because the girl he was holding hostage was exceptionally cute!

“You vandals! Let the girl go, and I this devil gunman might still spare your miserable lives!” Vash yelled, summoning his most evil of expressions. The vandals smirked, the three of them heavily armed and ‘ready for anything.’ “Hah! You don’t even have a clue who you’re dealing with! We won’t surrender to the likes of you, Mr. Vash th-” they weren’t allowed to finish.

In a flurry, Vash fired six shots from his magnum, simultaneously unleashing his left arm’s machine gun. The magnum shots unarmed the leader and punctured his leg, sending him to the ground, while the machine gun burst into life, knocking guns from hands and filling the henchmen’s feet with just enough to drop them to the sand. The crowd watched in awe, and then began to cheer.

However, from the Swordfish II, Spike could swear he saw the town’s last hopes of defense get gunned down mercilessly by a pile of Woolongs in a red leather trench coat. Luckily, the crowd was still far enough that he could begin his assault. “Dead or alive, huh?” Spike muttered, grinning as he took aim…

With that, we wait! Vote, readers, and write a reason WHY for an additional vote! But no results until we’ve got at LEAST 10 good votes. Don’t fail me again!