Ok, the pic I’m posting today may seem like a little bit of a cop-out, so I’m posting two pics! Besides, while the first is AWESOME, it doesn’t quite warrant its own POTD.
So, without further ado…
Pictured: Spiral energy put to its best possible use.
Vanilla Ice, eat your heart out. Now, for the second pic…
Pictured: The most catchy robotic idol ever.
A pic I was sent of the songstress from the earlier video. Pretty cool background! If you loved the video, here you go.
Pictured: My childhood heroes the way I always imagined them.
My gosh…. they look even more epic than my childhood mind allowed them to appear in my mind… simply fantastic.
As with yesterday, if someone knows the artist, lemme know so I can shower them with praise.
Also, as with every picture I post, if you want to see the full size image, just right click (or control click) and “View image.” I ESPECIALLY recomend this for He-man and today’s pic.
Pictured: The most boring Terminator I've ever seen.
So, like with Star Trek, I went to a Wednesday preview showing of Terminator Salvation, and like most Terminator fans, I was salivating for Salvation. Then the movie started. As always, if you don’t want spoilers, just avoid the green paragraphs.
This movie sucked. I can actually say with certainty that the only real enjoyment I found in the first two-thirds of the movie came from me and a friend mocking Christian Bale every time he said anything. Every time John Conner said anything, we added how it was distracting, and how he and that actor/robot/vehicle were done, professionally.
(For the two people who didn’t get that joke, it’s about Bale yelling at a guy for walking in his light and being, in his words, “@#$%^%ing distracting.” It also spurred a five minute yelling session from the angry crybaby actor. Youtube “Christian Bale freak out.”)
Not that John Conner was the main character. Yup, you heard right. The previews have lied to you. The main character is the interesting, yet totally gypped, due to editing, Marcus. That being said…
The entirety of the first half of the movie is terribly predictable. From the very first shot, I predicted a majority of the movie. With proper editing, the movie’s suspense could have been top notch and the plot could have actually flowed. An hour in, I actually nearly fell asleep and asked my girlfriend if she was just as bored as I was. She was. Now, time for the spoilers.
In the first scene, we learn about a guy on death row who sells his body to Dynacorp, so we are instantly like, Terminator, lulz. If that wasn’t enough, we then see him emerging from a burning Skynet tower in Conner’s adult time. So, most everyone puts two and two together and realizes he’s a Terminator.
However, the movie then beats us over the head with it, making him do impossible things, time and time again. He hits a flying machine with a four-way and destroys it in a single hit, people break their fists on his face, he hits rocks at a couple hundred miles an hour to no damage. At this point, I’m yawning, knowing he’s a Terminator for an hour now, and THEN they play it off as some big shock, showing you his inner workings.
In addition, they overplay a hook on the back of a tow truck for the better part of five minutes, as well as a scene where the Terminator, named Marcus, is gunned down by the resistance, finally trying to make it seem cool that he suddenly shows battle damage.
Now, if the movie had started with Marcus yelling in a burning ruin, then the title, then his introduction and battle, underplaying his super-heroism, and then suddenly showed the flashback just before revealing his half-machine nature, it could have been really dramatic.
But those problems are passable, even if it IS a simple editing fix that could have saved the movie and made it interesting. The real two problems I had with the movie, that were BLOODY DISTRACTING, were the lack of a soundtrack and poor pacing.
The soundtrack was more than minimal. If I read the ending credits correctly, there were only FOUR SONGS. They play a Guns ‘n Roses Song for six seconds or so, as well as an Alice in Chains song for the same duration. In addition, they play (according to the credits) the theme from Terminator 1 and 2. They still released a soundtrack, but of the ten people I saw it with, no one remembers the songs playing during the movie even once past the opening credits. Also, for no reason, they say the title twice in the opening. Why? Who knows.
The pacing was bad. REALLY bad, going from a scene where someone was talking peacefully with a girl to INSTANT ACTION with no transition. No wipe, no music, just a scene switch that makes my highschool home movies look like gems.
Also, by the end of the movie, nothing has happened, at all.
They destroyed one Skynet tower, with hundreds left, or so they say, meaning NOTHING HAPPENED. In fact, the only enjoyable part was the Arnold impersonator showing up near the end and the final fight sequence.
In the end, I feel like I spent 2 hours feeling like I had watched a boring 3 hour movie. Skip this nonsense.
GG gives this mess 3 / 10
(4 with Bale’s freak out lines inserted.)
Until next time guys, we’re done professionally. -GG
Pictured: The begining of terrible FF games, with the exception of 9.
This one is about a classic game, albeit not nearly as classic as FF6, 4, etc.
It all started when my step-cousin loaned me the game, back when I had no idea what constituted an RPG. I found myself swept up in the first disc’s cyberpunk setting and interesting characters.
So, I was sorely disapointed by the later levels, and subsequent fanboy-ism that plagues the game to this day. It was a good game. Not a great game. And Tetsuya Nomura can fall off a cliff into something painful, if the lord is merciful to gamers.
Anyhow, I was in the Shinra tower, when Sephiroth murders everyone, leaving the party a trail of blood to follow. However, every time I would go to enter Rufus’ office, the game would fade to black, and the disc would never read.
I tried time and time again, with no results. Then I got angry, but first, an explanation for the faulty disc.
You see, my step cousin had the game, the system, and no memory card. So all he and his family ever played was the first reactor. After a while, his little brothers and sisters threw the disc around, and with no desire to play a 60 hour game in one sitting, they were allowed to use disc one as a frisby in the gravel driveway, causing massive gashes and severe damage to the underside of the game.
Now, many would argue, “GG, this isn’t a glitch, that’s an error!” But the glitch is still to come. For this is the day my data-corrupting powers glitched not game, but reality.
In my fury and desperation, I took the disk tot he bathroom, nickle in hand. There, I furiously scratched the ENTIRE underside of the disk, over and over again, then massaged it with toothpaste and soap, rinsed, and slammed the battered (and now cracking) disk back into my console.
And with that, Rufus’ office loaded, and on I went with my game.
Simply amazing picture I found while browsing the internet. Classic He-man and the Masters of the Universe done in a brand new amazing way!
Also, to the people who saw the two posts that USED to be here? Those were my parents. Seemed I accidentally stayed logged in at home. How embarassing.
Pictured: better than whatever YOU'RE playing... well, it WAS, like... a decade ago.
Ok, props to Tom for showing me this mess. Simply amazing.
With THAT little tidbit out of the way, lemme type towards your face-holes for a minute about gaming goodness. The game is called Phantasy Star Online, and it’s quite possibly one of my favorite games of all time. The game offered 12 classes to choose from, 20 costumes each, and more awesome weapons than you can shake a stick at.
Why is that so cool? It was a very early console MMO that was ported several times and retains it’s devoted fan base to this very day, despite a CRAPPY overworld. Play it. If you don’t like it, then you can show yourself the door, because you’ve failed.
Anyway, at the bank, you can stack up to ten consumable items, such as Monomates (health restoring potions) in a single item slot. Very few items can be stacked higher than this. To my knowledge, only two exist in the current offline game: Photon Drops and Photon Speres.
What do those two items do? Not important here. If you’re desperate to know, just google search it or play the dang game, you lazy hack.
Now, Drops and Spheres can be stacked rediculously. You can store up to 99 in a single item slot. However, you only need one.
Now, once you have a single Photon Drop (or sphere, whatever) just deposit it in the bank. Then deposit 10 of any other consumable item, like the previously mentioned Monomate.
Next, go to withdraw an item. Select the consumable, and a menu will appear asking how many of the item you wish to withdraw. Select the full 10. The game will then ask if you are sure. Say NO to the freakish blonde-haired woman. THEN, go back into your bank account, as if to withdraw an item. Select the single Photon Drop and say Yes this time.
You now have ten Photon Drops in your invetory, and one still in the bank. Repeat until you have 98 in your invetory, and then deposit them all.
Once the Drops are deposited, deposit a single consumable, like a Trifluid (recovers all of a player’s TP, which is used to cast spells). Go to withdraw the 99 Drops, like you did the Monomates before, and say NO again. Then select the single consumable (Trifluid) and say YES.
You now have 99 Trifluids. Which is impossible. Awesome.
This is AWESOME, because it means practically infinite HP/TP/WHATEVER YOU NEED, as well as near-infinite items to feed your Mag, which can significantly improve any character.
However, on the down side, it apparently means you’ll NEVER FIND RARE ITEMS WHILE YOU’RE HOLDING ALL THOSE ITEMS. So think about it before you go breaking the game.
The lightsaber. Not as clumsy or random as a blaster, and the target of nerdy affection the world over. It’s every nerd’s dream to whip out a cold metal hilt, flip a switch, a feel the warm glow of electric death at their fingertips, waiting to rend their enemies. This has been true since Star Wars premiered in 1977.
Because of this, they are a part of everyday science fiction, and perhaps someday, science fact.
That being said, here are my favorite 7 Lightsaber Knock-offs.
#7: Zero’s Z-Saber (Megaman X Series)
One ponytail, a new coat of paint, and a sweet weapon, and bam, PERFECT.
When I was younger, I loved going to my cousin’s house and playing Megaman X. However, it was not the blue bomber that had me captivated. Oh no, Rockman was not my forte. (Get it?) I wanted to play as the red clad, hippie-haired Zero, wielding his amazing blue Z-Saber.
Plus, later it became chargable. Can Skywalker charge up his weapon for a massive attack? …well, yeah, with the force, maybe… Zero is still amazing.
#6: Energy Sword (Halo)
Uh, sir, one blade just isn't doing the job, plus, Lucasarts will stab us to death unless we change it...
I hate Halo. It’s an abomination running over with twelve year olds screaming into mics, endless sniper ambushes, rocket and grenade spamming, and people boasting about how 1337 they are.
That being said, the designs are really nicely done, and sometimes, nothing is more fun than getting together with a group of friends, turning on super speed and capture the flag, and going at it with a bunch of Energy Swords. Plus, it has a laser blade protruding from the top and bottom of the hilt, and has very limited ammo in single player mode, to keep it from being entirely cheap.
#5: Saber Weapons (Phantasy Star Online)
Completely broken when not online. Easy mode for weaklings. For some reason, they get the coolest weapons though...
Ah, Phantasy Star Online. Now that’s what I call a video game. Although I play a RAmar (rifle expert) called Troa and a FOmar (mage) named Aether, both my best friend and my girlfriend play HUmars, the sword swinging behemoths of the Phantasy Star universe world. (Not to be confused with Phantasy Star UNIVERSE, as that game made me ponder what fun falling to my death would be.)
In addition to being able to wield one normal lightsaber-esque weapon, they can wild a huge broadsword version, a dual knife version, or go Darth Maul with a twin-bladed version, ala Episode 1.However, Rifles are still comparable in strength for a majority of the game, and magic still proves most deadly, meaning this is a game where the players who don’t want to ‘Use the force, Luke’ can tell old Ben Kenobi to stuff it.
#4: “Light Saber” (Ico)
The magnificent puzzle game known as Ico rocked the Playstation 2 to its core and still amazes fans to this day. This is impressive for many reasons, the most impressive being that the game could be beaten in one sitting in only a couple of hours.
However, if played through twice and fawned over, endlessly, one could be rewarded…
Holy crap. Find a waterfall, smack a tree, pick up a ball, solve the Da Vinci code, send an e-mail to Moses, find Shangrila and throw this into Emilia Earhart’s cargo bay and boom. God throws you a lightsaber the size of your house. It may only work when you hold Yorda’s hand (aww, cute), but who CARES! That thing is GIGANTIC!
Thanks to str00py for the vid.
#3: Beam Saber (Mobile Suit Gundam)
Char: Amuro, I am your Father! Amuro: That's not true! That's IMPOSSIBLE! Even my father didn't hit me!
Just two short years after Star Wars came out, another massively cool series began to air, one that changed the face of anime’. Mobile Suit Gundam was the story of a boy named Amuro who piloted a giant robot and nearly single-handedly ended an entire war.
What weapon is at his side throughout it all and remains a staple of Gundam weaponry to this very day? That would be the Beam Saber.It isn’t a lightsaber, not at all. Especially not with a hilt like this.
Pictured: NOT a lightsaber.
#2:Revolcane (Kamen Rinder BLACK RX)
Who needs the force? He's a Kamen Rider, for crying out loud!
Everyone loves Kamen Rider. Well, ok, not everyone, but they should. One of the most popular of the Showa Era riders is none other that Kamen Rider BLACK, and his sequel, BLACK RX.
You may not remember, but Black actually came to the states for a bit, as the short lived Saban series Masked Rider. He was all kinds of cool, and one of his later weapons just happened to look a tad familiar…
Thanks to Galan000 for the vid, skip to 5:30 to see the Revolcane in action.
Simply amazing. that shower of sparks makes my day every time.
#1:Tsubaki Mk-II (No More Heroes)
What’s better than a single bladed lightsaber? A dual-bladed one? No, how about four, like General Greivous? Nope, still not enough. I need this guy dead so bad, I think I’ll just tape FIVE LIGHTSABERS TOGETHER AND CALL IT GOOD.
Holy crap. Even the force can't handle all of this.
As the game’s protagonist, Travis Touchdown, goes on his quest to be the best assassin in all of Santa Destroy, he can acquire many ‘Beam Katanas,’ my favorite of which is the Mk-II. The Blood Berry and Tsubaki Mk-I before this were both single-bladed weapons, and the Mk-III is also single-bladed, but between all the one-bladed “normal” lightsabers, we find the wonderful, destructive Five-bladed beauty, the Mk-II.
Here it is at work. Thanks to ultimatechocobo86 for the vid.
If you disagree, comment! Tell me YOUR favorite, shameless lightaber rip-off!
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